- Symptoms
- Egocentrism
- Low tolerance to frustration
- Hedonism
- Poor social skills
- Machiavellianism
- Causes
- Genetics
- Education
- Consequences
- Trouble achieving your goals
- Difficulties in your social relationships
- Excessive hedonism
- How to act: treatment
- Be on the lookout for the first signs
- Set limits
- Teach him to put himself in the place of others
- References
The syndrome of the emperor or the tyrant child is a behavioral disorder that can appear in childhood. Its main symptom is constant abusive behavior towards parents or other authority figures, for which the child does not feel any respect. Because of this, he constantly challenges them, and may even blackmail or attack them.
Formerly, in most families the parents were indisputable figures. Children had to accept what their elders told them, and many times they had neither voice nor vote. However, cultural changes in recent decades have led to the abandonment of this traditional family model.
Source: pixabay.com
Although to a great extent it is good to democratize the relationship with children, in some extreme cases children can adopt very non-functional behaviors. More and more parents say they have problems controlling children, who are defiant, aggressive and disrespectful towards them.
In the most severe cases, Emperor Syndrome could be related to Oppositional Defiant Disorder, a childhood behavior disorder described in the latest diagnostic manual from the American Psychological Association (APA).
Symptoms
Children with emperor syndrome tend to try to run their families like little tyrants. To get what they want, they manipulate, threaten, yell, and throw tantrums when something doesn't happen as they would like. In the most serious cases, they can even resort to violence.
The symptoms caused by this conduct disorder may vary slightly depending on each case; but in most of the children who present it, some common features will appear. Next we will see the most important of them.
Egocentrism
Egocentrism is a characteristic of people who are unable to put themselves in the place of others or understand their emotions, thoughts or motivations. They believe that other individuals experience what happens in the same way as they do, and they tend to put their wishes before the welfare of others.
This characteristic is present, to a greater or lesser extent, in all children; however, those affected by emperor syndrome show it at much higher levels. Their complete lack of empathy leads them to use whatever means necessary to end up getting what they want.
Because of this, most children with oppositional defiant disorder can do a lot of harm (physical or emotional) to their parents and others around them. They are generally unable to care or even understand the feelings of others.
Low tolerance to frustration
Another of the most common traits among children with emperor syndrome is the difficulty they have in accepting that things are not as they would like. When something does not go as they would like, they tend to get angry and carry out aggressive behaviors (tantrums).
This problem appears because the child is unable to cope with the frustration that causes his wishes not to be fulfilled. Due to the deep discomfort that this causes, he ends up suffering an emotional outburst.
Hedonism
Children with Oppositional Defiant Disorder base their lives on the constant pursuit of pleasure. This, which is common to some extent in most people, goes to an insane extreme for them: they are unable to develop any kind of discipline, they avoid effort, and they want to achieve immediate results in everything they do.
Of course, it is not always possible to obtain pleasure without making efforts. Therefore, these children often end up getting angry with their circumstances, and blaming others for everything bad that happens to them.
This, in addition, correlates with a low sense of personal responsibility; that is, children with emperor syndrome never feel that what happens to them has anything to do with their actions. Because of this, it is highly unlikely that they will end up achieving what they set out to do.
Poor social skills
In order to properly relate to others, it is necessary that we understand them to a certain extent (empathy) and that we have the appropriate tools to do so. However, in the case of children suffering from Emperor syndrome, neither of these two conditions are met.
Therefore, most of the time those affected by this conduct disorder will have great difficulties in maintaining any type of relationship with the people around them.
For example, they often have a hard time making friends in class, and they tend to be punished frequently for their bad behavior.
Machiavellianism
The last of the traits shared by all children with Emperor syndrome is Machiavellianism, or the tendency to use manipulation to get what they want from others.
Due to their lack of empathy and they do not like to strive to achieve their goals, these children use whatever means at their disposal to make other people fulfill all their whims. Thus, they do not hesitate to threaten, do emotional blackmail, or even use physical violence in some cases.
Causes
Although it is not yet known what exactly leads a child to develop Emperor syndrome, experts believe that it is a conduct disorder with a multicausal origin.
This means that there is no single reason why a child can end up developing this type of personality, but it is necessary that several factors interact for this pattern of behavior and thinking to form.
In this sense, it is believed that the union of a certain type of innate temperament with a specific education is necessary. Below we will briefly see how each of these elements must be for Oppositional Defiant Disorder to emerge.
Genetics
According to research carried out over the last century, an important part of our personality is determined from the moment we are born.
Despite the fact that our experiences can modify the way we are to some extent, the truth is that around 50% of our traits remain stable throughout life.
In relation to oppositional defiant disorder, there are mainly three personality traits that can have a great influence on its development: cordiality, responsibility, and neuroticism.
Cordiality has to do with the way the individual interacts with others. On their more positive side, the person is someone who can be trusted, altruistic, and considerate of others. Someone low on warmth, on the other hand, will be self-centered, competitive, and manipulative.
Responsibility is directly related to the person's capacity for self-control. Someone with low levels of this trait will be unable to plan, will seek instant gratification, and will have discipline problems. In addition, it will not have clear moral principles either.
Lastly, neuroticism has to do with emotional instability. A highly neurotic person will easily get upset in situations that would leave others indifferent.
On the other hand, this trait can cause the individual to believe that others are against him, and to focus too much on the negative side of a situation.
Education
Experts also believe that emperor syndrome may have a direct relationship with the kind of education given to the child from the moment it is born.
Nowadays, due to the desire to protect the little ones from any problem, many parents tend to avoid difficulties and treat them with excessive care.
The problem with this is that the child acquires the unconscious belief that everyone should fulfill his wishes, and learns to see problems as intolerable. If this is taken to the extreme, it is very likely that you will end up developing Oppositional Defiant Disorder.
The good news is that while we can't influence our children's genetics, we can change the way we treat them. For this reason, changing the way children are educated is the most effective course of action to alleviate problems such as emperor syndrome. Later we will see how it is possible to achieve this.
Consequences
If they do not change the way they think and behave, life for children with Emperor syndrome is not easy. The characteristics of this type of people usually cause them all kinds of difficulties both in childhood and adolescence and once they are adults. Next we will see which are the most common.
Trouble achieving your goals
Because of the belief that everyone should give them what they want, and because of their difficulty in striving to achieve their goals and develop discipline, people with emperor syndrome are rarely able to achieve what they set out to do.
This, in the long run, tends to generate great frustration, which in turn leads them to become more angry with the world and to look for culprits outside of themselves. It is a vicious cycle that rarely gets them anywhere.
Difficulties in your social relationships
Although some of their traits may make them attractive in the short term, most people with emperor syndrome tend to end up damaging their social relationships. In general, they tend to demand a lot from their family and friends, to manipulate them, and to disregard their feelings.
In addition, in some cases the frustration felt by these people can lead them to disobey some important rule or to behave in a violent way, which could lead to extremely negative consequences.
Excessive hedonism
In many cases, the frustration and lack of responsibility of people with oppositional defiant disorder leads them to focus solely and exclusively on getting all the pleasure they can. Therefore, some of these individuals may end up developing all kinds of addictions and non-empowering behaviors.
Among other things, someone with emperor syndrome may end up addicted to extreme emotions, gambling, or dangerous substances such as alcohol or drugs.
Also, because they don't like to work hard to get what they want, in the worst cases their personality could even lead them to commit criminal acts.
How to act: treatment
In this last section you will discover some of the actions you can take to prevent your child from developing the emperor syndrome, or to solve the worst effects of it if you think he or she already suffers from it.
Be on the lookout for the first signs
Sometimes it is difficult to differentiate between what is normal behavior in a child and what is not. However, you should be alert for possible indicators that your child is developing emperor syndrome.
From the age of four, children are usually able to express their anger and explain the reasons for it. By five, they can usually control their emotions in rudimentary ways.
If you see that at this age your child is still having a lot of tantrums and getting too angry, he may be starting to develop this problem.
Set limits
Limits and rules, despite having a bad rap, are actually good for children. This is because they help bring order to their world, which can often be too chaotic for them.
When a child knows exactly what is expected of him, it will be much easier for him to learn to regulate his behavior. Plus, you'll feel more confident and experience fewer anxiety symptoms.
Teach him to put himself in the place of others
One of the most important skills we can learn in life is empathy. In fact, most of the problems caused by emperor syndrome come from an inability to develop this ability.
So instead of simply punishing your child when he does something wrong, talk to him and show him the consequences of his actions. Make him reflect on how others may be feeling, and little by little he will be able to put himself in the shoes of others for himself.
References
- "Little Emperor Syndrome: Child Tyrants" in: Exploring Your Mind. Retrieved on: September 27, 2018 from Exploring Your Mind: exploringyourmind.com.
- "Children tyrants: The Emperor's Syndrome" in: Psychology Spot. Retrieved on: September 27, 2018 from Psychology Spot: psychology-spot.com.
- "Emperor Syndrome: bossy, aggressive and authoritarian children" in: Psychology and Mind. Retrieved on: September 27, 2018 from Psychology and Mind: psicologiaymente.com.
- "Syndrome of the emperor or tyrant child: how to detect it" in: Siquia. Retrieved on: September 27, 2018 from Siquia: siquia.com.
- "Oppositional defiant disorder" in: Wikipedia. Retrieved on: September 27, 2018 from Wikipedia: en.wikipedia.org.