MY GIRLFRIEND DUMPED ME: 10 ESSENTIAL TIPS TO GET OVER IT - GEOGRAFÍA - 2025

My girlfriend left me, can I get over it? A love breakup is one of the most complicated situations to manage and deal with. In those moments, feelings of sadness surface very easily and achieving well-being becomes a very complex task.

Likewise, when the decision to end the romantic relationship is made solely and exclusively by one member of the couple, the emotional situation of the other person can be even more delicate.

This fact is explained by two main reasons. First, unlike the person who broke up, the "dumped" partner does not usually have any desire or interest in ending the relationship.

On the other hand, when someone is left by their partner, it is common for them to develop feelings of guilt. Thinking tends to focus on the negative aspects and on analyzing the things that have motivated the couple to decide to end the relationship.

In this sense, the self-esteem of the person they have left can be called into question, a fact that can lead to significant psychological and emotional alterations. For this reason, it is especially important to know how to manage properly at these times, and act in the healthiest way possible.

Here are 10 tips that can help you achieve these goals and that can help you overcome the breakup.

Tips to get ahead if your girlfriend has left you

1- Accept the break

The first step that must be taken to overcome a romantic breakup due to the decision of the other member of the couple is to accept that the relationship has ended.

It is common for thoughts and feelings of denial to appear in the first moments. This fact is highly prevalent for the simple reason that the person does not want the relationship to end.

Thus, as with many other aspects of life, the first reaction is usually characterized by rejecting a reality that is not desired and that does not allow the fulfillment of personal needs.

However, prolonging denial can be highly complex. Faced with a sentimental breakup, it is essential that the person develop a healthy and adapted grieving process, and this cannot be achieved if the first phase of denial is not overcome.

2- Distribute the blame

Another important element to consider in the initial moments of the breakup is to assess and distribute the blame in a reasonable and equitable way. In general, when someone is left, the feeling of guilt tends to focus solely and exclusively on oneself.

It is usual for people to develop thoughts about what they have done wrong in these situations and the reasons why their partner no longer loves them.

However, focusing attention and analyzing the situation in this way is very dangerous. In fact, it is a highly self-destructive procedure that can take its toll over time.

And it is that when someone takes self-responsibility for external decisions, they put a good part of their self-esteem and their emotional state at stake.

The guilt about what has happened must be analyzed in a calm and reasoned way, without letting the developed feelings take absolute control of the process.

3- Go through the grieving process

Beyond the acceptance of the breakup and the equanimous distribution of responsibilities, any sentimental separation requires the elaboration of a grieving process.

In this sense, if your partner has just left you, you cannot expect to get over it from one day to the next and that the feelings of sadness you experience disappear immediately.

In fact, this is a common practice when the emotional breakdown is accompanied by feelings of rage, anger or hatred towards the ex-partner. However, this type of emotional response often works against you.

People who try to convince themselves that they have gotten over the break up with ease are actually avoiding the grieving process and therefore not working through the loss.

So if you experience a great whirlwind of feelings, don't worry. This response is normal and even beneficial. Your me of now has to have a hard time so that your me of the future can completely overcome the break.

4- Don't mask your emotions

A typical reaction that develops in romantic breakups, especially when the other member of the couple has made the decision to end the relationship, is to try to avoid emotions.

Many people believe that ignoring feelings of sadness and thinking that everything is fine is the fastest way to overcome the loss and start a new life.

However, people's psychological functioning is too complex to find such simple solutions to delicate situations such as romantic breakups.

In fact, masking emotions is a practice that inhibits the grieving process and, therefore, prevents you from overcoming the loss that has occurred.

Therefore, it is convenient that in the moments that you need it you pay attention and express the emotions and feelings that you are experiencing.

This does not mean that emotions should be released without any type of filter and let them take over the functioning and the psychological state completely, but it does imply the search for specific situations and moments in which the accumulated tension can be released..

5- Detect your thoughts

Once the first moments of the break have passed, where everything is emotionally very intense and uncontrollable, a stage of greater calm usually appears.

However, this stage where you may not cry so much and despair has subsided is highly important. At these times, sadness tends to intensify and feelings of guilt can take over, so it is important to do a little psychological work.

You have to be clear that your mood and your emotions are mainly modulated by your thoughts. In this sense, it is convenient that you do not let your thoughts appear constantly in an automatic and uncontrollable way, and spend some time detecting and analyzing what you think.

6- Analyze and modify your thoughts

Once you have detected the main thoughts you will realize that most of them are focused on the break. Likewise, you will notice that a good part of your thoughts have a negative character.

Although having negative thoughts after a breakup is inevitable, it is important that these are as sane and reasonable as possible. In this sense, it is usually beneficial to analyze in detail what is being thought in order to avoid extreme and unreasonable thoughts.

Developing a certain distance between what you feel and what you think is often very helpful. One thing is the feelings of sadness and another thing is the analysis of the situation.

The emotional state should not completely rule the opinions and thoughts about the breakup.

7- Seek support

Carrying out the previous point can be quite a complex task. In moments when one feels better, it is usually easier to analyze the facts in a reasonable way, but when the emotional state is intense it is usually more complex.

Likewise, when faced with a neutral emotional state, a single negative thought about the breakup can immediately lead to negative emotions and a catastrophic view of what happened.

For this reason, it is essential to seek support. Having people around you to accompany you during the grieving process helps to eliminate much of the feelings of guilt, adopt a calmer view about the breakup, and even experience positive emotions.

8- Avoid emotional havens

In contrast to the previous point, it is usually highly damaging to look for elements in which to take refuge after the break. There are people who at those times focus only on work or other types of activities.

However, in these cases the behavior only pursues a single objective: to avoid the grieving process and the experimentation of negative feelings and emotions.

For this reason, it is inadvisable to take refuge at work or other aspects of life. The break must be worked out and for this it is necessary to allow sadness to appear.

9- Look for distractions

While it is not good to take refuge in activities to avoid thinking and feeling about the breakup, it is very beneficial to find distractions.

Having certain activities during the day that allow you to experience positive feelings is one of the main sources of energy to overcome the breakup.

10- Look for alternatives

Finally, to overcome a breakup you have to take into account the most practical aspects. When you're in a relationship, you spend a good deal of your time doing things with your partner.

This situation changes completely when the relationship ends, so it is vitally important to find elements that can replace the activities you did with your partner.

Staying more with friends, doing more activities with family members, or starting new sports or leisure activities are often helpful.

References

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3. Cubas Ferreyra, D., Espinoza Rueckner, G., Galli Cambiaso, A. And Terrones Paredes, M. (2004). Cognitive behavioral intervention in a group of female patients with affective dependence. Journal of Psychiatry and Mental Health Hermilio Valdizan (Vol. 2, 81-90).
4. Elisardo Becoña et al. Treatment guides and guidelines for clinical psychological practice: A view from the clinic. Roles of the Psychologist. Madrid, 2004.
5. Vallejo J. Classification of affective disorders. In: Vallejo J, Gastó C. Affective disorders: anxiety and depression. 2nd Edition. Masson. Barcelona, ​​2000.