PSYCHOLOGICAL ABUSE: SYMPTOMS, TYPES, CONSEQUENCES, HOW TO OVERCOME IT - GEOGRAFÍA - 2025

The psychological abuse is a type of abuse that is characterized by the presence of actions and behaviors that can end up creating an emotional trauma to the victim. Despite not being as visible as physical abuse, its consequences are no less real: among the most common effects are anxiety, chronic depression, or post-traumatic stress disorder.

Also known as emotional abuse, psychological abuse is generally considered to occur almost always in situations where there is a power difference within a relationship. This can be of many different types, from the one between a boss and his subordinates to the dynamic that occurs within a couple.

Source: pexels.com

Among the actions carried out by those who use psychological abuse, we find some such as bullying, gaslighting or denial of evidence, insults, disrespect and attempts to control. Sometimes this type of abuse is also accompanied by other purely physical attacks, although this is not something that always happens.

Psychological abuse is not as visible as physical abuse, but the negative consequences it causes in those who suffer it are also very real. Due to this, it is necessary to make the population aware of what behaviors are typical of this type of abuse, and what can be done when it appears.

Types of psychological abuse

Behaviors related to psychological abuse are strikingly similar in all areas in which it occurs. However, in order to correctly identify this phenomenon, it is necessary to understand where it is most likely to occur and what forms it takes in each case.

Next we will see what are the main types of emotional abuse that exist depending on the area in which they appear.

Family

Family abuse is known as all those continuous aggressions that occur within the scope of the family unit. This concept is very broad, and encompasses all abusive relationships that occur in this context regardless of who both the aggressors and those attacked are.

Thus, within family psychological abuse we can find situations in which parents mentally abuse their children; but also others in which the aggressors are children, grandparents or any other member of the household.

Childish

Despite the fact that there are more types of family abuse, in families emotional abuse usually occurs from parents to children due to the difference in power that exists between them. In this case, psychological abuse translates into a series of behaviors that can greatly damage the emotional, social, psychological and cognitive development of children.

There are different reasons why psychological abuse between parents and children can appear. Some parents do it because they have their own psychological problems. Others are simply reproducing the behavior patterns they observed in their own family members, or simply do not have the necessary knowledge to act as good caregivers for their children.

In this area, psychological abuse translates into behaviors such as insults, disrespect, the presence of extremely strict regulations, contempt and prohibitions of all kinds. Due to the importance that parents have in the development of children, this can cause very severe consequences in their lives.

In the couple

One of the areas in which it is more common for cases of psychological abuse to occur is that of the partner. Despite the fact that physical violence is much more visible in this area, the truth is that most cases of abuse occur without physical aggression involved.

Many of the cases of abuse in the partner occur due to a series of irrational beliefs about partners and love. This often causes behaviors that end up causing psychological problems in victims, such as name calling, controlling behaviors, constant disparagement and disrespect.

At work

Psychological abuse in the workplace is commonly known as mobbing. As in other areas, it can occur between people with different positions and roles within a company, such as between employees, or from a boss to her subordinates.

Emotional harassment at work is one of the main problems in today's world of work, as it can end up causing difficulties such as anxiety, stress, burnout syndrome and depression. In addition, it has been proven that it greatly reduces the quality of life of those affected.

Structural abuse

The aggressor exercises a certain power over the victim, based on a supposed inequality where he is superior.

He uses phrases that devalue the victim, makes important decisions without consulting him, reminds him of all his mistakes, tells him that he knows how to do things better, or says things such as "this is so because I said so", he does not promise to do anything for the victim, forces him to have sex and is angry when the victim refuses.

Rejection

It occurs when the abuser denies the presence or value of the victim. It tells you that she or he is inferior, devaluing your thoughts and feelings.

Degradation

The aggressor ridicules the victim, using nicknames, imitations or other aggressive expressions. In this way, it diminishes the dignity of the other person, negatively affecting their sense of identity.

Yelling, obscene words, humiliation in public and the use of disqualifying adjectives are some of the expressions of this type of abuse.

Economic or financial abuse

The abuser strictly controls the victim's financial resources. He monitors his income, asks for explanations even for the smallest expenses, does not allow him to work, forces him to borrow, does not allow him to handle money, etc.

Spiritual abuse

It is about ridiculing the beliefs of the victim.

Many times the aggressor forces her to accept hers as her own and does not allow her to act according to his ideals.

Social abuse

It happens when the aggressor prevents the victim from contacting friends and family, does not allow him to attend social activities, checks his messages and calls on the mobile phone, spy on conversations, etc.

Main symptoms of psychological abuse

To find out if you are being a victim of psychological abuse, ask yourself if you feel that the aggressor shows the following signs / symptoms. Although it is usually more common from men to women, it also occurs from women to men.

Control your life

Always try to know where you are, what you are doing and who you are with. It's like you want to manage every aspect of your life.

Devalue your opinions or feelings

It does not take into account your opinions or how you feel when making decisions.

He tells you that he treats you like that because he loves you

Psychological abusers often use this justification to manipulate the victim.

Says you're lucky to have him by your side

It is another form of justification. They try to convince the victim that only he will take care of her, so that he does not abandon him and can continue with his abusive behavior.

Doesn't let you see your friends or family

This is one of the worst acts of abusers. Some do it so that the victim's family or friends do not convince her that it is not convenient for her to be with the abuser.

It tells you how you should dress

Some abusers are jealous and want to control their partner's dress as well.

Check calls and messages on your smartphone

This is a consequence of the constant control that the abuser has over the victim.

Does not encourage you or estimate your goals

Abusers do not usually esteem their partners, much less encourage them to achieve the goals they set for themselves.

Doesn't let you study or work

The abuser often wants to feel superior to his partner. Having your partner gain independence with a job can be threatening.

He talks to you in a bad way, with yelling or violent gestures, slamming doors, etc.

This is verbal violence and although it is not always linked to psychological abuse, sometimes it also occurs and can make the situation worse.

Strictly control the money you receive or the expenses you make

It is a specific form of control, another form of independence from the victim is eliminated

Threat

Threats can be in many forms and is another form of control.

Blames you for things that go wrong

Because abusive people often do not have a sense of responsibility, they can constantly blame their victims for their misfortunes.

Blackmails

Emotional blackmail is another form of control and can be very subtle.

Apologizes but does not correct their behavior

A vital problem in psychological abuse is that victims often believe their partners when they tell them they will change, although this is often not the case.

You fear their way of reacting

If you do not communicate with your partner because you fear that he will react violently, it is really worrying. Violent reactions can be a way to control the victim.

They try to make you see that if you display behavior they don't like, they will react negatively and unpleasantly.

You have lost interest in life

In a situation of psychological abuse, it is normal for the mood to drop and the victim to lose interest in the things that previously interested him.

You don't want to come home

Victims of abuse may constantly feel a desire to get out and not go home, but they stay because they have no other choice or they have children.

Anxiety

Anxiety is a common symptom in victims. They become over-activated due to the situation of violence that they live in their homes.

Trouble sleeping

It is a consequence of anxiety. To sleep you need to be relaxed and try to avoid worries.

Low self-esteem

Not valuing themselves is common in battered people. They believe that because another person does not value them they are not valuable in general.

Constant criticism

Criticism can be good when it is constructive, although criticism from abusers is often hurtful, personal, and destructive.

To blame

It is one of the worst feelings to deal with that victims can have if they do not perceive that the abusers are trying to manipulate them in this way.

Threaten you with suicide

We have discussed the threats before, although this one deserves a separate section. Abusers can threaten suicide and in some cases they can follow through on what they say. You do not have to accept their mistreatment, and therefore it is important to ask for private professional help or social services.

Exaggerated jealousy

Batterers, being controlling, are often also jealous and often there is no reason for this.

Provocative behavior with others

Some abusers may display provocative behavior with people of the opposite sex.

Refuse to communicate

In order not to change the situation and to be able to continue controlling the victim, the abusers may categorically refuse to talk about the problems.

They use sarcasm

Sarcasm can be hurtful if it is directed at particular people and in psychological abuse it is usually like that. It is about saying something that is the opposite of reality.

They do not laugh at themselves or tolerate others doing them

Most abusers have low self-esteem and find it hurtful to laugh at themselves or when others do it.

He gives you hurtful nicknames or nicknames

Nicknames can be funny or loving, but others can be hurtful and mistreat the victim.

Share your information with other people

He does not respect your privacy and tells intimate things about the couple even to little known people.

Profile of the abuser

Whoever psychologically mistreats another person usually has the following characteristics:

• Insecurity in himself.
• Low ability to control your emotions.
• They are self-centered.
• Little empathy.
• Low level of self-esteem, which tries to increase by attacking and degrading another person.
• Low tolerance for frustration.
• They are controlling people.
• They are generally kind and charming to other people, except their victim.
• Sudden changes in your moods, irritability.
• They use emotional blackmail.
• They ridicule and humiliate publicly.

If you feel identified with some or more of the situations described above, if you think that the profile of your aggressor and his attitudes coincide with the psychological abuse, then you cannot remain with your arms crossed.

Consequences

Despite the fact that the consequences of psychological abuse are not as visible as those of physical abuse, victims can suffer a series of very severe consequences that decrease their quality of life. For example, some of those affected see their self-esteem being completely destroyed, while their levels of self-criticism, sense of worthlessness and toxic guilt increase.

In fact, despite the fact that there are not many studies in this regard, those that do exist seem to indicate that the consequences of psychological abuse can be as severe or more than those of emotional abuse. In addition, because they are not so visible, it is much more difficult for those affected to avoid the most severe consequences.

If it lasts long enough, behaviors such as verbal abuse, insults, criticism and gaslighting diminish the self-esteem of the victims to the point where they are not able to see themselves rationally. As a result, the attacked begin to think that the aggressors are right, so they begin to criticize themselves too harshly.

Because of this, victims get caught up in abusive relationships, believing that they won't be able to find a better situation because they aren't good enough for someone else. In addition, due to their low self-esteem, those affected by psychological abuse tend to isolate themselves from their healthy relationships, further worsening their quality of life.

In the most extreme cases, psychological abuse can lead to very serious problems such as depression, anxiety, or even post traumatic stress disorder.

How to overcome it?

Overcoming a situation of psychological abuse can be extremely complicated, especially since victims are often not even aware of what is happening. Therefore, the first step to get out of a toxic relationship of this type is to recognize that you are immersed in a process of emotional abuse.

Once the person has detected that they are in a relationship with psychological abuse, it is necessary that they decide to make their physical and mental well-being a priority. For that, you have to be able to stop worrying about pleasing your abuser, something that can be very complicated; and return to worrying about your needs, your self-esteem and your values.

Generally, the simplest way to deal with a situation of this type is to completely cut off the abusive relationship and allow the victim to spend time working on their own well-being. However, when this is not possible, setting limits and rules in the relationship with the abuser may be sufficient.

On the other hand, victims of psychological abuse tend to blame themselves for the problems they are suffering, and believe that the abuse they suffer has to do with their own shortcomings as people. To get out of such a situation, it is often very helpful to stop trying to worry about the abuser's feelings and to avoid trying to solve their problems as much as possible.

Finally, a tool that can greatly help victims of psychological abuse to get out of these types of situations is the creation of a support network that can help them see their situation in a more objective way. This network can be made up of family members, friends, or even an official support group, such as the one that occurs in a therapy context.

Basic tips

You are not by his side to educate him, so you must go. It is not easy, but you can follow these tips to feel better:

• Go to your family and closest friends. You will surely be surprised to see how much support and support they are capable of providing you.
• Do not feel guilty or question your decision to stay away from whoever is attacking you. You may have made mistakes, but that is not why you deserve to live these situations of violence.
• Do not maintain contact with the person who mistreated you. In these moments you are vulnerable from an emotional point of view, and you must prevent him from negatively influencing you.
• Don't try to alleviate your sadness and pain by using drugs, alcohol, or medication without control. If you're feeling depressed, go to your doctor, psychological therapy, or both.

Prevention of abuse

In the first place and before talking about how to prevent situations of psychological abuse, it is necessary for the victim to understand that it is not their fault. The only culprit is the aggressor. The victim should not even blame himself for failing to avoid the situation.

It is important that not only the victims, but the entire society are clear about this concept, because the only way to prevent emotional abuse is for the entire society to be informed and understand that these situations are not acceptable.

It often happens that some victims of psychological abuse do not know that they are, because they think that in some way these attitudes are understandable or tolerable, since the aggressor "only has a bad temper, but deep down he is good to me" or because they simply believe that they are truly guilty of the other person's violent reactions.

When they realize they are being abused, the victim's self-confidence is often undermined and it can take a lot to get away from the situation.

To prevent abuse it is also important to learn to know personal rights and have them respected without violating the rights of others.

This, together with an assertive communication style, are concepts that must be present in the education of children at home, to avoid psychological abuse in the future.

On the other hand, educational programs of information and teaching of values ​​are necessary in schools, institutes and universities.

Finally, in some countries there are telephone numbers for information and requests for help in cases of abuse.

Report for psychological abuse

Filing a complaint for psychological abuse can be very complicated, since its consequences are not easily measurable or observable, as is the case in the case of physical abuse. As a result of this problem, victims often do not have any kind of official help to get out of the situation in which they find themselves.

However, in some specific areas, greater awareness of psychological abuse and all the problems it can cause has begun to be generated. For example, within the area of ​​education, a very exhaustive campaign has been carried out against bullying, which is nothing more than a form of emotional abuse typical of the classroom.

Something similar happens in the workplace, where the prevention of mobbing is one of the most important priorities for the majority of official bodies, unions and employee unions.

Even so, the visibility of psychological abuse is still very insufficient, and the fact of filing a complaint to solve it can be really complicated. Because of this, there is still much work to be done in this regard.

Information telephone numbers

Spain

• Attention to mistreatment: 016

Mexico

Actions and programs of the Government of Mexico.

Colombia

Free information call to 155.

Chile

149/147: Phono Family of Carabineros de Chile.

Peru

Line 100.

U.S

National Domestic Violence Hotline by calling 1-800-799-7233 (for Spanish press 2) or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY, for people with hearing disabilities).

Some quotes from experts about psychological abuse

-The scars of psychological cruelty can be as deep and long-lasting as the scars from punches or slaps but they are often not as obvious. In fact, even through women who have experienced partner violence, half or more comment that the emotional abuse of the man is what causes him the most harm.-Lundy Bancroft.

-The only person who deserves a special place in your life is someone who never made you feel like you were an option in his.-Shanno L. Alder.

Abusers feel a surge of power when they discover a weakness. They exploit it, using it to gain more power.-Christina Enevoldsen.

-Denying someone's feelings or experiences is denying their reality.-Danu Morrigan.

-It's not the bruises on the body that hurt. They are the scars of the heart and those of the mind.-Aisha Mirza.

References

1. "How to Identify and Cope With Emotional Abuse" in: VeryWell Mind. Retrieved on: November 26, 2019 from VeryWell Mind: verywellmind.com.
2. "What are the signs of emotional abuse?" in: Medical News Today. Retrieved on: November 26, 2019 from Medical News Today: medicalnewstoday.com.
3. "When is it emotional abuse?" in: Psychology Today. Retrieved on: November 26, 2019 from Psychology Today: psychologytoday.com.
4. "How to deal with emotional abuse" in: Crisis Text Line. Retrieved on: November 26, 2019 from Crisis Text Line: crisistextline.com.
5. "Psychological abuse" in: Wikipedia. Retrieved on: November 26, 2019 from Wikipedia: en.wikipedia.org.