- 15 jokes with direct speech
- Maria and Luisa
- I do not want to go to school
- Jaimito
- Cucumbers and tomatoes
- Employment agency
- Friends and cell phone
- army
- Jaimito and the books
- Pepito in class
- The vampires
- The cat
- Animals in the jungle
- Christmas and fools
- Judge at Christmas
- The girl and the homework
- 10 jokes with indirect speech
- Asthma
- The watch
- The little man
- The slow man
- The thin
- Cinema
- Beethoven's Fifth Symphony
- The fortune teller
- The little child
- The doctor
When talking about jokes of direct and indirect speech, reference is being made to the way in which the announcer expresses himself when telling the funny story he tells.
In direct speech, the acting or dialogue of the intervening characters is expressed through the use of scripts, while in indirect speech the joke is told by a narrator, without textually describing the interaction between the characters.
Indirect joke example
Both types of speeches are widely used in the making of jokes and have some particular characteristics when they are presented.
For example, in direct speech the identification of the participation of the characters is used with emphasis; the use of question marks, exclamation marks, and the use of quotation marks help to achieve this.
15 jokes with direct speech
Maria and Luisa
María and Luisa are two nurses who meet in the corridor of a hospital
-Luisa, how are you? Where are you going with that thermometer?
-Which thermometer? I don't wear any.
-The one you wear in your bow.
-If I have the thermometer there, where have I left the pencil?
I do not want to go to school
-Mom, don't insist, I'm not going to school today!
-But you have to go, it's your obligation.
-Mom, give me a compelling reason why I should go to school today.
-Because you are the director.
Jaimito
Jaimito's teacher assigns him a homework for the next day, when he gets to class:
-Good morning, we will begin to review the homework. Let's see, Juanita, your homework.
-Here it is, teacher, it's a forest with a little squirrel and some birds.
-Very good, Juanita, very beautiful. Let's see you, Rafael, the homework.
-Here I have her teacher, it is a desert with cacti and snakes.
-And you, Jaimito? Your homework?
-Here I have it, teacher (hands a blank page).
-What is this, Jaimito? It is blank!
-Look, teacher, this is a cow eating grass.
-And where is the grass Jaimito?
-The cow ate it.
-And where is the cow?
-He ate the grass, and when it was over he went to look for more.
Cucumbers and tomatoes
Two cucumbers meet on the road and see a tomato pass by.
-Shall we invite him for coffee?
-No, he only drinks tea.
Employment agency
A man enters an employment agency.
-Do you have a job for me?
-Could be. Are you interested as a gardener?
-How to leave money? But what I need is to have money!
Friends and cell phone
A friend calls another on a cell phone and asks:
-Where are you, Pepe?
-I will tell you in three words: sun, sand and soda.
-Are you on the beach?
-No, I'm at work: I'm a bricklayer!
army
A captain to his soldier:
-Soldier Ramírez.
-Yes, my captain, say.
-I didn't see him yesterday in the camouflage test.
-Thank you, my captain.
Jaimito and the books
Jaimito goes to the library to ask for a book:
-Please, I want a book of intrigues, which one do you recommend?
-There is a very good one in which there is a man who murders his wife, children and dog, and the police cannot find out who he is.
-And what is the name of the book?
-The book is called The Murderous Butler.
Pepito in class
A teacher asks a student in class:
-Let's see, Pepito, how many eyes do we have?
-I tell you, let me think… Four eyes, professor.
- What do you mean four eyes, Pepito?
-Yes, professor, we have four eyes. You have 2 and I have 2.
The vampires
Two vampires fly across the sky:
-What is your name?
-Vampi.
-Vampi what?
-Vampi Rito. And what's your name?
-Otto.
-Otto what?
-Otto Vampirito.
The cat
A cat was walking on a roof howling:
-Meow meow.
Another cat approaches and says:
-Wow, wow!
The first missed cat tells him:
-Hey, why are you barking if you're a cat?
And the other answers:
-Is it that one cannot learn languages?
Animals in the jungle
Two animals meet in the jungle and one says to the other:
-Notice that I am a wolfdog, because my father was a dog and my mother a wolf. And you?
-Well, I'm an anteater.
Christmas and fools
Two fools prepare for Christmas:
-Let's put lights on the tree! Let me know if they turn on the lights.
-Yes… no… yes… no
Judge at Christmas
A judge promises to be lenient for Christmas and asks the defendant:
-Tell me, what are you accused of?
-Of having done the Christmas shopping in advance.
-But man, that's not a crime. How far in advance did you shop?
-Before the stores opened, Judge.
The girl and the homework
A girl is doing her homework and asks her mother:
-Mom, mom, how do you spell bell?
-Campana is written as it sounds.
-So I write "talán-talán"?
10 jokes with indirect speech
Asthma
A doctor asks his patient if he has followed the advice of sleeping with the window open to improve his asthma, to which the patient replies that the asthma remains the same, what has disappeared is the clock, the television and the computer.
The watch
Two friends meet on the street and one of them tells the other that he has bought a very nice watch. With great curiosity, the friend asks what mark, and the man replies that it marks the time.
The little man
This was such a small but so small man that he passed a pastry shop, his mouth watered and he drowned.
The slow man
He was a slow but very slow man, so slow that when he tried to grab snails they slipped out of their hands.
The thin
She was such a slim but so thin woman that she put on a 100-striped dress and had 99 to spare.
Cinema
Two friends are in a row at the cinema and one of them comments that his wife has been on a diet for 4 weeks. The other friend asks how much he has lost and the first one answers that only 3 weeks.
Beethoven's Fifth Symphony
A friend tells another that Beethoven's fifth symphony was dedicated to his father. The other friend asks him how he knew that. The friend tells him that it is obvious because it begins "for papaa…".
The fortune teller
A woman goes to a fortune teller and tells him that she wants to know the future, to which the fortune teller asks which verb.
The little child
He was such a small boy that he once climbed on a marble and thought he had conquered the world.
The doctor
A patient tells a doctor that he feels bad. The doctor replies that he feels fine.