PASSIVE COMMUNICATION: SIGNS, CHARACTERISTICS AND EXAMPLES - GEOGRAFÍA - 2024

The passive communication possess people who are often unable to express their thoughts or views for fear of confrontation by others. Normally, they are not considered fit to provide judgments or opinions.

It is a very ineffective and maladaptive way of communicating, since the person cannot identify or satisfy their own needs. Sometimes some aggression is mixed with passive behavior, leading to a passive-aggressive communication style.

Some of the signs of people who communicate passively are not communicating what they want, not defending themselves if insulted, not making eye contact, closed non-verbal language or indecision.

Passive communication style characteristics

Smooth communication

Individuals who have a passive way of communicating tend to speak softly, as if they are apologizing. Sometimes, the few times they do express their opinion, they apologize in advance or try to do so, or say things like "This is surely silly, but…".

They fail to stand firm in their opinions

They are unable to stand their ground or stand up for what they think to another person and allow others to interfere with their rights and opinions.

They don't express their feelings

Nor do they tend to express their feelings, views, and needs spontaneously.

They do not make eye contact

These people also do not usually make eye contact when talking to someone and adopt inappropriate body language and postures.

Continual state of anxiety or depression

The passive communication style also involves a continuous state of anxiety, as these people assume that their lives are out of their control. They are often depressed or feel ill, because their opinions are never expressed out loud.

They are indecisive

They tend to be confused if given the opportunity to choose and tend to delegate decisions to others. All of this leads to these people feeling angry with themselves.

They do not show anger towards others

However, these people rarely show anger or rage towards others. On the contrary, they usually allow complaints, annoyances and aggressions on the part of other people.

They are passive-aggressive

On some occasions, these aggressions pile up and give rise to an outburst of anger disproportionate to the incident that occurred (passive-aggressive style). After this explosion, however, they often feel shame, guilt, and confusion, so they return to normal passivity.

They experience resentment and confusion

This way of communicating has a high impact on the lives of these individuals. Aside from the anxiety and depressive symptoms they often feel as a result of not expressing their emotions, they tend to experience resentment and confusion due to ignorance of their own needs.

They tend to be immature

They are also often unable to fully mature, never having to face real problems. A passive communicator often behaves as if he is weak and unable to take care of himself.

Examples of passive communication

Some examples of situations in which a person communicates using this style are:

-A man in a restaurant asks for a steak well done and, when the waiter brings it, it is rare. When the waiter asks if everything is to his liking, the man answers in the affirmative.

-A group of friends is left to decide what to do during the weekend. One of them is sure they don't feel like going to the movies, but when someone suggests it, they can't say no, so they end up spending money and time on something they don't really want to do, instead of proposing. something that could satisfy everyone.

-In high school, classmates ask the same girl for homework every day to copy them. Instead of refusing to put them down, since she makes the effort to complete them every day, she allows her peers to copy them.

Why is passive style not a healthy way to communicate?

Passive communication usually makes the person keep all his opinions to himself and prevents him from letting out and expressing his emotions. This type of person, in this way, accumulates all the problems that lack of expression of emotions entails.

This is dangerous as it can lead to an outburst of rage, after which you return to your original state of passivity. This outburst often leads to feelings of guilt and shame.

Furthermore, the lack of expression of emotions and feelings can give somatoform problems in the form of pain that have no physical causes.

How does this communication style come to be formed in a person?

Passive communication style is usually the result of low self-esteem. Self-esteem is defined as the vision that an individual has of their own worth. People who exhibit passive behaviors often think that it is not worth expressing what they feel.

Normally, they think that it is not worth it for people to pay attention or take care of them. They do not usually react or let their emotions out. This causes emotional conflicts to be created that make their self-esteem even lower, thus becoming a vicious circle.

Passive communication is, on many occasions, the result of repressed emotions from a very early age in an environment where submission is valued in a positive way.

Some parents reward children's passivity from a very young age, either on purpose or unconsciously. This positive appraisal of submissive behaviors slowly turns into very low self-esteem on the part of the child which, as a consequence, translates into behavioral habits.

The habit of accepting everything that others say and trying to please them at all costs, when it is deeply ingrained, becomes a form of passive communication in which the individual always hides his opinions to please other people who are involved.

How does society see these types of people?

People who communicate passively are not very good at working in groups with other colleagues. It is quite frequent that other members of the group begin to exercise control over them and express feelings of superiority.

Then, there will start to be feelings of frustration and guilt on the part of the affected person due to the continuous suppression of their views. People will tend to take it for granted that they will always be there despite constant trampling and will try to achieve their goals at their expense.

In work environments, these passive people are often viewed as shifters who are not proactive at work.

Advantages and disadvantages of passivity when communicating

Communicating passively is clearly a dysfunctional type of communication, but it can have some advantages. Since these people adapt to the wishes of others, they often avoid conflict. They also have fewer responsibilities, since they delegate decisions to other people and are not usually even part of group decisions.

Also, since the people around them often feel the need to protect them, they have a sense of control over them. Finally, these people feel comfort and security by maintaining and repeating a familiar behavioral pattern.

However, the disadvantages outnumber the advantages. The people around passive communicators may tend to protect them, but they often lose all respect for them.

As we have discussed before, repressing and internalizing opinions and emotions is very destructive for oneself. There are many ailments caused by the repression of negative emotions, such as migraines, asthma attacks, many skin conditions, ulcers, arthritis, chronic fatigue, and hypertension.

These people also suffer from other psychological problems such as high anxiety, depression and social inhibition.

How to deal with passive people to improve your communication style

People who behave passively tend to have low self-esteem and have little confidence in themselves. By behaving assertively, you can help make these people feel that their contributions are valued and thereby improve their self-esteem and confidence. Remember that it is possible to value someone's contributions without necessarily agreeing with them.

Apart from being assertive with these people, we should encourage them to be assertive as well, so that they can communicate their ideas and emotions freely without feeling pressure to express them.

To encourage these people to be assertive, basic interpersonal skills of listening, reflection, clarification, and questioning can be used. Some of these techniques are as follows:

Encourage them to make contributions

Encourage them to make the contributions they want to make by asking questions, asking for their opinion, and having them join the discussion in group situations.

Asking questions is critical to successful communication, and the person will feel that others are interested in her and what she thinks about the issue at hand. In this way, she shows empathy and respect for the other person and what they have to say and increases the appreciation she feels for herself.

Listens

Listen carefully to what the person has to say before continuing the conversation. If necessary, use techniques to clarify your opinion before responding.

Listening is not the same as hearing; it requires attention to both verbal and non-verbal messages if we are to fully understand what the other person wants to express.

In order for the person speaking to us to know that we are actively listening, it is advisable to maintain eye contact and proper body posture. Through these forms of non-verbal language, even if they are subtle, you show interest in what the person has to say and encourage them to express themselves.

Encourage another communicative style

Encourage the person who tends to communicate passively to be more open when it comes to expressing their feelings, wishes and ideas aloud. In discussions or group work, remember not to take full responsibility when making decisions that should be made jointly.

Try to involve all members to make contributions when deciding. If you know that one of the group members tends to behave passively in group decisions, you can take some time beforehand to discuss their point of view. If you know how he feels, then you can help him express his opinions in the group.

Summary of characteristics of the passive communication style

To summarize and finish, here is a list of the main characteristics of these people:

• They are not sure of their own rights.
• They believe that the rights of others are above their own.
• They easily give in to what others want.
• Other people often take advantage of them.
• They are afraid to communicate honestly.
• They are unable to express their feelings, needs, and opinions successfully.
• They do not usually maintain eye contact and usually show a hunched or hunched body posture.
• They tend to feel confused because they ignore their own feelings.
• They feel anxious because their lives seem to be out of their control.
• They tend to avoid direct communication with other people with whom there may be a possible confrontation.
• They are silent when something bothers them.
• His voice is usually monotonous.
• They are very apologetic and upfront.