HOW TO LEAVE YOUR PARTNER WITHOUT HURTING HIM: 8 TIPS - GEOGRAFÍA - 2024

Knowing how to leave your partner without hurting him is important to avoid going through bad times; ending a romantic relationship is one of the most delicate moments for a person.

Making the decision to separate from someone involves a series of very relevant factors in people's lives, so it can be very beneficial for both members of the couple to carry out this process in an appropriate way.

We often think that when we have a romantic relationship with a person, what unites us with them are a series of feelings of attachment and affection. In this way, it is common to think that when these types of feelings disappear or are blurred, ending the relationship is a simple task that should be done without regard.

However, in many cases this analysis of the couple's relationship is often misleading and can lead to a bad breakup that is very difficult for both members of the couple to overcome.

Why is it important to know how to end a relationship?

When you have a romantic relationship with someone, it is very likely that the things you share go much further than the emotions you feel towards your partner. Normally, a romantic relationship involves a series of customs, activities, tastes and routines.

In short, a relationship usually configures a specific way of living, a way of doing things and a multitude of related aspects. When you have a romantic relationship, you have to bear in mind that little by little, the relationship becomes a part of ourselves.

Likewise, we must bear in mind that when we have a sentimental relationship we are not alone in it, that is, there is another person who shares that situation with us, our partner. Therefore, no matter how clear it may be at an individual level that the relationship must end, it is possible that our partner may think differently.

For all this, it is important to properly carry out the breaking process, since if it is done in the best possible way, the repercussions of the change may be less and more bearable.

Ending a relationship properly is always painful, but making the breakup in an optimal way can be key so that the two members of the couple can properly overcome it and adapt to the change in their lives.

8 tips to leave your partner

Below we will comment on 8 aspects that may be relevant in these types of moments and that can help mitigate the harmful effects of the emotional breakup.

1. Don't destroy the relationship

The first aspect that must be taken into account to carry out a proper break-up process is not to destroy the relationship before ending it.

The moment of rupture should be interpreted as one more phase of the sentimental relationship between the two people, therefore, what happens before is as important as the moment of ending it.

If you are clear that you want to end the relationship, do so, but if not, do not maintain the relationship with the aim of destroying it little by little. Destroying a relationship does not make sense, since in reality the only thing that is achieved in such cases is to create feelings of hatred and hostility between two people who will separate.

Your attitude must conform to reality. If you want to save adversity and continue with your partner, work to rebuild and strengthen the relationship.

On the other hand, if what you want is to end the relationship, make sure of it and do it, and always keep in mind that if you make that decision you are facing a very delicate moment, both for you and for your partner, so start destroying the relationship before that it ends can be highly damaging.

2. Feel safe

Another fundamental aspect to properly perform a break is to be highly sure that you want to do.

We insist on the same thing again, separations are highly delicate moments in a person's life and can lead to a large number of psychological disturbances and discomfort.

The decision to end a relationship should never be made lightly and be very consistent with it. Couples who end their relationship and start it over all the time are most likely destined for failure.

Likewise, continuous breakups in a relationship are usually an inexhaustible source of discomfort for both members of the couple.

For all this, it is very important that when you end a relationship you are very sure that you want to do it, since you will need a lot of strength to carry out this process and to adapt to the situation that this decision will lead you to.

3. Make the decision in a calm moment

It is very common for the highest desires to end a relationship appear in emotionally intense moments that cause a lot of discomfort.

When we are angry, hurt, or exalted, these are times when we find it easier to make the decision to end the relationship.

However, making the decision in these cases is usually a mistake, since we are not making the decision based on our normal thinking but based on our thinking governed by emotions.

We have to bear in mind that no matter how much we feel in a certain way at this moment, sooner or later the emotion will disappear.

So, if we make a decision at a time when emotion takes over us, we may regret it when it has disappeared from our thinking.

For all this, it is important to make the decision to end a romantic relationship in moments of calm, where we can clearly think about what we want, what consequences the breakup will bring and what is the best decision to make.

4. Express your thoughts

Once you are clear that you want to end the relationship and you have concluded that it is the best decision you can make, you should express your thoughts to your partner.

When you want to end a relationship, obviously it is necessary to express it to the couple so that they know and accept it. However, not only should the decision to end the relationship be expressed, but it is important to express those thoughts that have led you to make that decision.

Sometimes it is thought that it is better not to give explanations so as not to hurt the partner, however, most likely the other person needs them to be able to work out the breakup well.

It is much more difficult for people to understand and accept these situations when we cannot find an explanation than when we can give an argument to the things that have happened.

It is better to express the thoughts for which you decide to end a relationship than to avoid talking about the reasons for the breakup.

5. Be receptive to your partner

In the same way that the explanations made by one of the couple can be useful so that the other can work out the loss well, being able to express the thoughts that are inside is usually a very beneficial act in a situation like this.

As we have seen in the previous point, it will help you to be able to explain and argue the reasons for the decision you have made to end the relationship, but you also have to give your partner the opportunity to express their thoughts.

So, once you have shared your ideas with him, you must be receptive to what your partner tells you and you must allow him to express himself with total freedom.

These moments can be painful and uncomfortable, however, talking about the breakup can be the first stage of acceptance and elaboration of what has happened, and it can be key to properly overcome the separation.

6. Be honest and responsible

Another relevant aspect when ending a relationship is the attitude that is taken in those moments. In those moments, the attitude you show is more important than the ideas you express or the content of what you argue.

It is important that you be honest, so when you explain why you made the decision to end the relationship, you must say what you really think and what you really think.

It is about you saying things as they are and as you feel them, without falling into topics or phrases to look good. However, it is important that you are not excessively cruel towards your partner, so you must also show your part of responsibility.

Taking this type of attitude in the face of a breaking situation requires a certain courage since the simplest thing is usually to expose the things that the other person has done wrong and that have motivated you to make the decision to separate.

However, these types of arguments are usually neither true nor fair, so it is important that you also find your share of responsibility for what has happened and express it to your partner.

7. Avoid discussion

Romantic separations are usually a time when the appearance of the discussion is more than feasible.

They are emotionally intense and unpleasant moments so the evacuation of reproaches, personal attacks or bad manners during the discussion can appear easily.

However, it should be tried, as far as possible, that this does not happen.

To do this, it is important that you stay calm, express your thoughts and feelings clearly, be honest with your partner, do not accuse her of what happened and show that this moment is as complicated for her as it is for you.

8. Take your time

Finally, it is important that you end the moment of the break in a congruent and consistent way.

At such times, it is common for you to want to tell your partner that they can count on you for whatever they need or that you will always be available if they need help. However, it is advisable for each of you to take your time after the moment of the breakup.

Ending a relationship and continuing to talk or exchange thoughts and feelings is all it does is prevent each of the members from starting to work out the loss correctly.

Romantic breakups are emotionally intense moments, which produce unpleasant sensations and force you to adapt to a new and often complicated situation.

However, these events should not be projected as feelings of hatred towards the other person because probably she was not the only one responsible for the breakup, but it was both of you.

In this way, taking time when you are probably emotionally bad is usually necessary to elaborate these aspects in a healthy way.

References

1. Agnew, Martz & Rusbult, C. (1998). Personal Relationships. Journal of the International Society for the Study of Personal Relationships.
2. Bouchey, HA, & Furman, W. (2003). Dating and romantic experiences in adolescence. In GR Adams, and M. Berzonsky (Eds.), The Blackwell handbook of adolescence (pp. 313-329). Oxford, UK: Blackwell Publishers
3. Maturana, H. The objective or constructed reality? Santiago: Anthropos, 1996.
4. Sánchez Aragón, R. & Díaz-Loving, R. (1999). Evaluation of the approach-away cycle. Psychosocial anthology of the couple. Mexico: Miguel Ángel Porrúa. 37-107.
5. Sternberg, R. A Triangular Theory of Love. Psychological Review, 1986; 93, 2, 119-135.