HOW TO CONTROL ANGER AND AGGRESSION: 10 PRACTICAL TECHNIQUES - DUDAS - 2024

In this article I will explain how to control anger, anger and aggressiveness with techniques that can be applied by children, adolescents, adults and the elderly. Do you notice that you get angry easily and often find it difficult to handle and manage your anger?

If this happens to you, it is possible that your main problem is that you do not have the necessary skills to control your emotions, so you can see yourself overcome on several occasions.

Anger, also known as anger, rage or rage, is a human emotion that is based on an irritation reaction that is usually produced by the following stimuli:

• They are hurting us.
• Our needs are not met.
• Our rights are being trampled on.
• Someone is invading us.
• Something does not go our way.
• We are giving too much of ourselves.

As you well know, this emotion usually involves a set of behavioral responses that can be harmful to ourselves and can cause us problems, such as expressing anger, insulting someone or even reaching physical violence.

However, this does not mean that anger is a harmful emotion. In fact, anger is a basic and totally normal emotion that fulfills a vital function in us: defending our rights when we interpret that something or someone is violating them.

You cannot pretend to live without anger, you cannot try never to be angry or wish to be permanently in a state of serenity.

Why do we have to learn to control anger?

For a very simple reason: anyone who does not have the ability to control their anger will constantly be exposed to interpersonal problems with the people around them.

In addition, uncontrolled anger causes, in the person who suffers, a series of long-term emotional and physical effects: it increases blood pressure and heart rate, and can cause feelings of failure, depression and agitation.

The appearance of anger is usually unpredictable so you must have the necessary resources to be able to control it at any time.

10 practical techniques to control anger

Take responsibility

The first step you must take to learn to control your anger is to take responsibility for it. That is to say: you must be aware that the one who mismanages your emotions and performs inappropriate behaviors is you.

You must understand that anger is a personal emotion, therefore the feeling of anger is produced by you when faced with certain stimuli, it is not produced directly by stimuli.

For example: you are at work and your partner tells you that you are useless and that you do everything wrong. In this situation, it is common to think that the anger you feel has been produced by your partner with that comment.

However, that is not the case, the feeling of anger you create yourself when you interpret that comment, the words of your partner are only the cause.

So, to become aware that the only one capable of creating and controlling your anger is you, reflect on the following points:

1. I am responsible for my emotional states, my sorrows and my joys.

2. I am aware of the typical situations that cause me anger.

3. I am aware of who are the victims of my anger attacks.

4. I am responsible for my actions, angry or not.

Stop it in time

When you are presented with stimuli that cause you anger, it is very likely that anger will appear and take over. So that this does not happen, the first objective we must achieve is to stop the emotion of anger in time.

To do this, one exercise that can be helpful is taking a few seconds to control anger. When you notice that anger begins to appear, count to 10 before speaking or taking any action.

During those seconds, stay still, calmly counting the 10 numbers and taking a deep breath.

In this way, you will reduce anger as soon as it appears, so you will lessen your feeling of anger and you can control it more easily.

Correctly analyze your emotions

Normally, people who get angry quickly tend to get frustrated too easily and do not analyze their feelings correctly.

Ask yourself the following question: Is the fact that just caused you frustration really that important that you get angry and out of control of your anger reaction?

Surely the answer is no, since if it were yes, you would not mismanage your anger and you would get angry only in those situations that you must. However, to ensure that those situations that are not really important do not produce anger, you must work on your interpretation of them.

To do so, you simply have to start not looking so much at the failures of others, since we are all human and you are also wrong, and focus more on the successes.

Do the following exercises daily:

Look at the positive attitudes, emotions and behaviors of the people around you and write them down on paper.

When you detect something negative in someone, do not criticize immediately, write down the action and later think if that act really deserved criticism and anger.

When you make a criticism, analyze later if it was really objective, specific and constructive. If it isn't, it means you shouldn't have gotten angry.

Do not criticize when you are angry, do it at another time when you are calmer.

Restructure your thoughts

In other words: change your way of thinking. When you are angry, your thoughts tend to appear in an extreme way, too exaggerated and dramatic, since at that moment the emotional part of your brain takes on more importance than the rational part.

For example, when you are angry, a thought you may have could be: "It's horrible, it's terrible, it's unacceptable."

The moment these thoughts appear, try to change them for less radical ones: "It's frustrating and I'm obviously upset about it, but it's not the end of the world either."

If you do this exercise every time you get angry, you will be able to change your extreme thoughts for other thoughts of the same content but more adapted to reality.

In this way, when you get angry you will still be angry, but your will not get out of control to infinite levels and you will be able to control it. Always keep in mind that getting angry is not going to fix anything, so the thought that it produces should not be extreme, since if it is, anger will possess you.

The fact that things happen that we do not like is part of life, so when they happen you must interpret them as something normal that you must know how to manage.

Vent

Many times hostility and anger appear when we do not express our feelings and we keep them inside. Expressing feelings is not bad, human beings have feelings daily and we must express them for our proper functioning.

If you feel like crying, do it. And it is that according to Dr. Sinatra, tears are the best remedy to detoxify the body of hostility and excess anger. Likewise, when you have feelings of anger and anger, you should also express it.

However, as expressing these feelings indiscriminately is often harmful to both oneself and others, a technique that many experts recommend is to express yourself on paper.

When you feel angry or angry, take a sheet and write what you think and what you feel, and when you finish, throw it in the trash.

In this way, anger will not build up inside you and you will have been able to express your emotions without it being a problem for you.

Learn to relax

An effective technique to make you less prone to anger is to practice relaxation. If you generally acquire a more relaxed state than usual, your response to stimuli will be less aggressive and anger will not appear as easily.

I recommend that you do relaxation exercises on a regular basis to gradually remove yourself from nervousness and hostility. For example, a relaxation exercise that you can do is the following:

Breathe deeply with your diaphragm, noticing how the air moves in and out of your belly.

On each slow breath you take, repeat a word or phrase that conveys tranquility such as "relax" or "calm."

At the same time, imagine a landscape that transmits calm and serenity

If you want, you can play a relaxation song in the background with the volume low.

Do this exercise for about 10-15 minutes.

Learn to express it

Another aspect of vital importance to be able to control your anger is learning to express your feelings in an appropriate way. As we have said, we should not try to eliminate or avoid feelings of anger, they will appear and it is good that they do.

In addition, like any emotion, it is convenient that we express it so as not to leave it inside ourselves. The question is how we express this emotion.

We can do it in a disproportionate and inappropriate way or we can do it in a calm way that reduces our feeling of anger and does not lead to problems.

Obviously, the second way to learn is, so you have to get used to expressing your anger in a different way that does not imply hostility.

To communicate in an assertive way and channel your irá do the following:

Use a low tone of voice and slow verbal fluency to become aware of the words you are saying.

Talk about how you are feeling at the time and why, rather than saying what you think about the other person or the fact that made you angry.

Ask the other person to do the same and become aware of how they feel.

Take a relaxed body attitude respecting the other person.

Improve your self-control

Inappropriate expression of anger often implies a lack of self-control. In fact, if you have self-control you will rarely have lost your way due to your anger.

To improve your self-control in angry situations you must:

Direct your attention towards useful and pleasant signals, never do small negative details that can distort your perception.

Recognize that you are angry and be aware that you must reduce it for your good.

Think about the negative consequences of losing control.

Ask yourself what is the real reason why you are angry.

Express your emotions in an assertive way.

Increase your problem solving skills

Any event that can make us angry requires a way to handle it.

Continuing with the example from before, the situation in which a co-worker who said that you are useless and that you do everything wrong, must be managed in some way.

If we let the situation happen, you get angry and express your anger by yelling and insulting him, the situation will not go away, so he can say something similar to you again at any other time and your will may reappear.

However, if you are able to manage that situation by telling your partner that their comments annoy you and you manage to redefine your relationship and the comments you make to each other, you will have ended up with a stimulus that caused you anger.

Once you have managed to control your anger, the next objective is to solve those problems that can make your anger appear, in this way the stimulus disappears and your anger will not arise.

Reduce your stress

If you live a very stressful life, anger or anger will appear more easily. Organize your activities, your obligations, your time and your moments to distract yourself and disconnect.

In this way you will be able to carry out a calmer and more organized life that allows you to remain calm in those moments when you used to get angry before.

You can also practice relaxation techniques, which are used to reduce anxiety, stress, and other benefits.