REBELLION IN ADOLESCENCE: CAUSES AND 6 TIPS TO TREAT IT - ECONOMÍA - 2025

The rebellion in adolescence is caused by numerous physical and endocrine changes experienced by teenagers, some of which negatively affect their self - esteem and psychological well - being.

These biological changes will lead to many behavioral changes, such as apathy, sadness or rebellion. The first thing to do is accept that your child has entered a new stage of life and that, inevitably, changes will occur in many aspects.

At this time, neurobiological factors are going to take on special relevance, although they will not be the only ones. Rebellion, due to the family conflicts that it entails, is one of the behaviors that is most easily perceived, and the one that receives the most attention.

Although you may find it difficult to deal with a teenager who displays challenging behavior, you should know that this attitude also has future benefits. The fact that an adolescent rebels against "authority" - that is, parents and teachers - will help them become an adult who defends their ideas and rights.

On the other hand, we find that submissive adolescents will not develop these skills and will become equally submissive adults. Therefore, we suggest that you begin to conceive this defiant attitude as an “adaptive rebellion”.

Causes of rebellion in adolescence

Neurobiological and psychological factors

As we have already mentioned, there are many biological changes that an adolescent goes through, causing them to be irascible, sad or aggressive.

For example, it is common for adolescent girls to express distaste for body changes such as widening of the hips or the development of hair on the legs and armpits.

Boys tend to be more affected by the change in height they are going through, which makes them perceive themselves as clumsy in sports in which they previously excelled. The following analogy will help you better understand this situation: Imagine that every morning you had to drive a car that is gradually growing.

By adjusting to the new size change, a new “stretch” would occur, so you will never feel safe behind the wheel. To these biological changes, a period of psychological instability is added that will hinder their family, social and school interaction.

Among the greatest challenges is an identity crisis that they have to face, after which they will have a greater knowledge of themselves and a more stable personality.

Parental detachment

In this phase as children begin to enter the adolescent stage, they put aside their parents as primary attachment figures, and begin to develop relationships with their friends and classmates.

This is because they are trying to carry out parental distancing. Creating your own identity is one of the challenges of this stage. Therefore, you may perceive that your child is very vulnerable and influenced by the opinion of her friends, spending more time with them than with her own family.

You may also dislike the way she begins to dress or do her hair. Sometimes they are even interested in tattoos and piercings. As we will see later, this aspect is very important to lay the foundations of your individual identity.

Inappropriate peer relationships

At this time when social relationships are especially important, an adolescent will experience great sadness and despondency in the face of unsatisfactory social relationships –both with friends and romantic partners-.

All the changes that occur in this stage will be experienced with a much greater intensity.

For example, a change of residence, a break in a relationship, a conflict with a friend, etc., can cause a mixture of diffuse feelings that the adolescent does not know how to handle.

In addition, the fact of not having good relationships in the school environment - if you are a victim of bullying, for example - can cause a maladjustment in many areas of your life.

This situation is aggravated when young people do not want to share their problems with their parents or friends, out of fear or shame.

Inadequate family discipline

In today's society there have been changes in the traditional family model, in which the father was the one in charge of working and the woman was concerned with the education of her children.

Fortunately, we have left that obsolete family model behind, and women have also entered the labor market. However, with this new family structure, it can happen that children feel that their parents are absent.

To avoid this, and to promote healthy parent-child relationships, it is recommended that both parents become more involved in raising their children. On the other hand, sometimes it also happens that the adolescent perceives injustices that occur in the family environment.

For example, surely you know of a case of jealousy between siblings, in which one of them usually complains about the benefits of the other. At this point you have to be especially careful, since an adolescent's perception of inequality is a clear trigger for violence and aggressiveness.

Take an equitable attitude with your children, so that siblings have the same rights and obligations.

Violence in the media

The behavior of adolescent rebellion is associated -in many cases- with manifestations of aggressiveness. Numerous studies have tried to find a relationship between the violence perceived in the media and the violence manifested by the child-youth population.

Although it is not a very clear relationship, there have been indicators that exposure to acts of violence encourages adolescents to behave in this way.

One of the most interesting models that tries to explain this phenomenon is that of Albert Bandura:

According to this author, people who behave aggressively have difficulty being empathetic and lack sensitivity to the feelings of others.

Bandura affirms that the exposure of violent models in their environment or in the media is a necessary but not sufficient condition for the adolescent to behave in this way.

In other words, having access to violent models for adolescents will enhance aggressive behavior, but other factors are needed.

According to Bandura, the child-adolescent population will present an aggressive behavior when they perceive that this brings them some type of benefit. For example, boys who gain the approval of others by behaving aggressively will tend to perpetuate this behavior.

Also, it is important for the adolescent that the aggressive role model is relevant to him, such as a peer he admires or a fictional hero.

On the other hand, the author also talks about the cognitive mechanisms that young people use when using violence (such as dehumanization of the victims, self-deception regarding the consequences, etc.).

6 Tips to Treat Rebellion in Adolescence

So far we have exposed the main causes that provoke challenging and rebellious behaviors in adolescents. Here are some tips that can make it easier for you to deal with your children and make this stage more bearable:

Show understanding and empathy

Keep in mind that this is a passing stage. Accept the changes that are taking place in this period. Surely your child has complained on more than one occasion that no one understands him, or openly states that he is misunderstood.

It may be difficult for you to accept it, but it is possible that he is partially right. Try not to focus on the punishment you impose on your child and try to understand their point of view.

If you are open, if you talk about your fears and concerns when you were his age, he will see you in a closer way, as someone who can be trusted. Also tell him about your friends, about your first romantic relationships, and do not try to inquire into his - this would only distance him even more.

Also tell him how was your relationship with your parents, so that he feels identified in your experience. Encourage family communication during meals, without turning on the television or other electronic devices.

Enjoy those family moments, and stay calm if there are altercations at the table.

Do not prohibit everything you ask

We have already seen some of the demands that your children can impose on you - piercings, tattoos, changes of look, among others. Select some areas in which you can be more permissive, so that you do not become their enemy.

For example, you could allow her to choose the clothes she likes or to decorate the room as she wants. In fact, you can get even more involved if you go shopping with him and accept the style of clothing or music that he likes.

Be democratic

If you learn to negotiate with your child, you will see how his behavior presents a positive change. It leaves aside the education consisting of a dictatorship, in which the parents impose the rules and there is no possibility of discussing them. Everything can be discussed.

It is also important that you and your partner agree - creating enmities between you will only cause the child to take advantage of the situation for their own benefit.

Use this negotiation technique for topics like arrival time home, travel, etc. Remember that you can always reach middle points.

Encourage him to play sports

Teenagers are often full of energy, and sometimes this is the reason for them to behave aggressively. Therefore, a good option is that you propose that she do some sport.

At this point it is recommended to be especially cautious, since some competitive sports - such as soccer or basketball - can promote aggressive behaviors. Consider other options such as athletics, paddle tennis, jogging, among others.

Avoid yelling and being yelled at

It is proven that yelling does not solve conflicts. Instead, you will only get more angry and aggressive. Explain to your child that as long as he uses a raised tone of voice, he will not be able to dialogue with you.

Most of the time, teens scream to get attention and try to take your authority away. Never enter that game, you are an adult and you must be above these provocations.

We recommend that you ignore this behavior until your child has calmed down and talks to you like an adult. Little by little, he will establish this dialogue behavior with you, since he will see that he will not achieve anything by shouting.

If the problem persists, see a specialist

Finally, you should know the dangers of perceiving these challenging behaviors as normal behavior, when it comes to something more serious.

Many adolescents present masked depressions - some due to serious causes such as bullying or harassment. They are called this way because young people, far from presenting the typical symptoms of apathy and sadness, manifest aggressive behaviors.

If this is the situation for any of your children, you should consider the possibility that they are going through a period of psychological maladjustment. Get involved in his life, without overwhelming him, to find out a little more about the real reason for his aggressive or defiant behavior.

He shows concern about grades and visits teachers frequently, to find out what behavior he shows at school and if his social relationships are adequate. The symptoms of mental problems can go unnoticed, being confused with the typical crisis of adolescence.

Another reason to be concerned about your son or daughter is that mental illnesses such as depression can be accompanied by substance use or suicide attempts.

Therefore, in the event that you perceive abnormal behavior, it is recommended that you go to a specialist -psychologist or pediatrician- to tell you whether or not it is necessary to start psychological therapy.

We hope these tips have been helpful to you. Remember that no one teaches us to be parents, so we do the best we know how.

Don't blame yourself for your teens' behavior, and enjoy them at every stage.

At the end of the day, as we said at the beginning, this rebellion will turn them into adults with their own ideas and identity.

References

1. Alvarez-Solís, R.; Vargas-Vallejo, M. Violence in adolescence. Health in Tabasco (2002), vol. 8, no. 2, pp. 95-98.
2. Amanda Cespedes . Kids with tantrums, defiant teens. How to manage conduct disorders in children.
3. Bruce E. Levine. How Teenage Rebellion Has Become a Mental Illness (2008).
4. Lamas, C. To understand problematic adolescence. Pages 63-85 (2007).
5. Romero Romero, R. Depression and suicide in children and adolescents. Cetys University System Magazine (2002).