REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY: WHAT IS IT, PHASES AND HOW TO USE IT - PSYCHOLOGY - 2024

The reverse psychology is to persuade someone to do something asking you to do otherwise. For example, a disobedient child is told not to tidy up her room with the intention that she tidy it up.

This technique is based on the psychological phenomenon of reactance, in which a person refuses to be persuaded and chooses the opposite option to the one suggested. It is often used in children because of their tendency to respond with reactance, a desire to restore freedom of action.

Another example: a father who suggests to his teenage son that he is stingy because he does not buy his sister a birthday present. The boy reacts by buying him a pretty nice present. Another example would be when a shy boy starts talking to girls when they suggest that he is not interested in them.

History

Reverse psychology was described by the famous physician and writer Viktor Frankl during the last century. This technique is more complex than it sounds, so its use and effectiveness have been questioned many times, and should be used with caution.

This Austrian psychiatrist and neurologist introduced the concept of reverse psychology through his own clinical practice, that is, when dealing with psychiatric patients in his practice.

Viktor frankl

In fact, Viktor Frankl began to directly ask depressed, unstable, or multi-problem patients the following question: "Why don't you kill yourself?"

Obviously, the psychiatrist did not want his patients to commit suicide, quite the opposite, but he began to use the formulation of these ideas in his own treatment plan for mental illnesses. And in doing so, most patients imagined the event of their death, and in doing so, many of them found some reason not to commit suicide.

In this way, Frankl used the reasons that patients found for not committing suicide as a starting point for a psychological treatment that would allow finding stimuli to avoid suicidal thoughts.

Obviously, this technique was not used without rhyme or reason before anyone who presented ideas of death or depressive states, since the formulation of the possibility of suicide is highly dangerous.

In fact, if this question were asked of a highly depressed person with multiple thoughts of suicide, the result could be catastrophic.

However, Frankl found some use in a reverse psychology technique in treating many psychiatric cases.

What is reverse psychology?

Through the techniques applied by Viktor Frankl, a technique known today as reverse psychology emerges. It is a technique to get someone to do something that they don't really want to.

This fact has been widely disseminated in today's society, especially in non-professional contexts and in everyday settings.

Today it is believed that reverse psychology is an especially effective technique in the education of children and adolescents. Specifically, it is considered a useful technique for children who do not usually do it and sometimes have a tendency to be contrary.

Thus, when faced with a child who always contradicts the things that his mother tells him, she thinks that by telling him otherwise, he will do what he wanted in the beginning for the simple fact that he will continue to do the opposite.

Let's take an example: if a mother continually tells her son to pick up the room and he constantly refuses, it is thought that if he is told not to pick it up, he will order it in order to continue to oppose it.

Psychological principles

While it is true that some of the negativistic behaviors of children can be influenced by the commands that are given to them, reverse psychology is not based on these principles.

The success of reverse psychology lies in what is known as psychological resistance, that is, in the difficulty that we put ourselves to do something that is imposed on us or that they send us, and that interferes with our autonomy or freedom.

In this way, if we use reverse psychology and change the content of the message and the communicative style, the person can modify their attitude towards the latent behavior that they should or should not perform.

It should be noted that this technique does not always work nor should it be used in any situation, as it can even cause negative effects. Likewise, it can be somewhat criticized because it is a technique that may involve some manipulation.

However, many people today use it with both children and adults, and it can be an effective communication strategy if it is done properly.

How to apply reverse psychology?

Below we discuss 8 steps to be taken that must be taken into account if you want to apply reverse psychology in an appropriate way.

Analyze the person to whom you will perform it

Using reverse psychology involves a series of risks, so before doing so it is important that you analyze the person to whom you will apply it. And is that before using reverse psychology you have to be very clear that the use of this technique does not offer a double chance.

For example, if when you tell your son to study for the test and he ignores you, you decide to use reverse psychology and tell him not to study, you will no longer be able to dismiss what you just told him, so you will have to keep the message that you don't study.

Obviously, if you apply this strategy in a case in which it is not appropriate to do so, what you will achieve is that your child has more reasons not to study and stops having a stimulus that encourages him to do so.

For this reason, it is important that you carefully analyze the person to whom you want to apply reverse psychology and try to find out if it could work or not.

What are their reasons for ignoring you? Can you feel that the performance of the task you have to do is being imposed on you and your autonomy or freedom is cut off? Could this be why you are refusing to do so?

All these questions you have to ask yourself prior to the use of reverse psychology.

Before using reverse psychology, you have to make sure that the fact that the person refuses to do a certain behavior is motivated by the difficulty that people make to do something that is imposed on us.

Analyze your relationship with her

Once we have made sure that there is a certain psychological resistance in the reasons why the person refuses to do a certain activity, you have to analyze the relationship that you have with that person.

This fact is important since we cannot isolate reverse psychology from our relationship with a particular person. In this way, the moment we start doing it, the relationship between the two will be affected.

To do this, it is useful to analyze what pattern of behavior the person in question has with yourself.

If you indicate that that person has a tendency to contradict you in everything and tends to associate what you say with obligations, guidelines and commandments, and therefore in the creation of a psychological barrier, it might be appropriate to use reverse psychology.

This fact happens very often with children and adolescents, who adopt a communicative style with their parents in which any message is interpreted as a restriction of their autonomy and freedom.

Thus, in relationships of this type, reverse psychology can be successful by changing the relationship framework, and transferring responsibility and decision-making power to the adolescent who refuses to be governed and let others decide for him.

However, this analysis is not so straightforward. As we have said, reverse psychology has no going back, so the moment you start using it, you will not be able to dismiss it.

Thus, you have to properly analyze whether the person (be it a child or not) to whom you are going to apply it meets some minimum requirements that you can trust in order to transfer decision-making power to them.

Analyze the behavior

Finally, you must analyze what is the behavior you intend to modify through reverse psychology and everything that surrounds it.

If I give the person the possibility that it is he who decides, will he choose the appropriate behavior? In order to answer this question, several things must be analyzed.

The first are the two that we have already discussed above, but the third is to make sure that there are no other people who can also act as a psychological barrier.

In this way, if you decide to tell your child not to study so that he is the one who decides to do so, you must make sure that there are no other people such as relatives, teachers or colleagues who keep telling him that he should study.

If this happens, the child will probably still have a psychological barrier regarding the behavior to change, and by using reverse psychology the only thing you will achieve is to reduce the number of people who bother him by telling him to study.

Say the opposite of what you think in a congruent way

Once you have the three previous points well analyzed, you can apply reverse psychology, that is, you can already say the opposite of what you think.

However, you have to say it in a congruent way, in such a way that the other person perceives your message as true and firm.

In this way, if you tell your child not to study, you have to do it in a serious and credible way, in such a way that the child really thinks that your message is serious and that you are not forcing him to study.

Watch your communicative style

Another very important aspect is the communicative style with which the content of reverse psychology is expressed. The comments "well, very well, don't study" are useless with a derogatory tone, anger and reproach.

The objective does not have to be to tell him not to study but expressing that you continue forcing him to do it, but rather you have to express the idea in a calm and firm way so that he realizes that from now on the decisions regarding that topic they will be yours alone.

Avoid discussion

Another aspect closely related to the previous point is the fact of avoiding any discussion about it. When you decide to apply reverse psychology, you have to meet two goals for it to be effective.

The first is that the person to whom it is applied stops seeing his freedom of decision regarding a certain conduct cut off and the second consists in ensuring that this conduct is no longer a matter of conflict and discussion.

Reaffirm your decision

Once you have applied reverse psychology, you have to remain firm in your decision so that it can take effect. It is usually necessary that after expressing the message, you repeat it on other occasions to reaffirm your position.

Likewise, it is important that you continue to maintain the same communicative style when expressing these ideas.

Therefore, you should not use the reverse psychology message in the same way that you used the "original" message. That is, do not constantly repeat the message "do not study" as a substitute for the message "study."

Be congruent

Finally, the most important aspect for the reverse psychology message to be effective is that you maintain a totally congruent position with respect to it.

This fact implies that you should not be consistent only with the message, always saying the same thing, but that you must be so especially with your attitude on the subject.

The objective is to provide the person with a different framework from the previous one in which their decision-making capacity is not cut off and in which they can make their decisions independently and with the support of other people.

Thus, in the same way that Frankl used the reason the patient found for not living as part of the treatment, you can use the reasons your child finds for getting involved in a school issue to motivate him to study.

References

1. Hamilton, GG; Woolsey Biggart, N. (1985). Why People Obey. Theoretical Observations on Power and Obedience in Complex Organizations. Sociological Perspectives (No. 28, vol. 1, p. 3-28).
2. Sherif, M. (1936). The formation of social norms. The experimental paradigm ”. A: H. Proshansky; B. Seidenberg (ed.) (1965). Basic studies of Social Psychology. Madrid: Tecnos.
3. Turner, JC (1987). The analysis of social influence. A: JC Turner (ed.) Rediscovering the social group. Madrid: Morata, 1990.