- Causes of the complex and feelings of inferiority
- Differences between knowing that you are inferior and feeling inferior
- Tips for dealing with the inferiority complex
- 1) Accept yourself physically and personally
- 2) be specific
- 3) Be aware of your critical voice
- 4) Do not always accept the opinion of others
- 5) Build your self-esteem
The inferiority complex is a sense of lack of self-worth and a nagging sense of not measuring up to others. It is usually linked to personal or physical traits that are perceived as inferior to those of others.
For example, feeling inferior for not having a university education, not knowing languages or for being shorter than average. Although these personal traits and abilities can be objective, they are often subjective, the person with the inferiority complex maximizing the importance they have in her life.
Usually this complex is connected to a real or imagined defect in physical appearance, intelligence, education, social status, or economic status. You can guide sufferers to try to make up for it with difficult achievements or by isolating themselves socially.
Although this complex has in some people the effect of activating them to achieve things, those achievements do not lead to feeling better.
«While one person does not try because he feels inferior, another is busy making mistakes and improving little by little.-Henry C. Link.
Causes of the complex and feelings of inferiority
Understanding its causes will help you overcome an inferiority complex. The apparent cause is usually that you think you are inferior to someone in a particular aspect: you are bald, you have no money, you have little training, you are white, black, you are plump…
However, the real cause has nothing to do with that, but with your perception and interpretation of reality and situations.
With an inferiority complex, you will say to yourself phrases like "you have no talent" or "they are better"; In other words, you will have an internal voice that suggests negative thoughts that you are probably not aware of.
It may also be that at some point in your past you experienced an event that led you to think that you are inadequate or of little value. Some events could be:
- Playing a sport badly practiced by your teammates.
- Being insulted by classmates, teachers or parents.
- Being of a lower social class than your peers.
- Feeling less attractive than your friends.
In general, they occur when there is something different about you that makes you feel inferior. Most importantly, this only happens if you feel it as a disadvantage.
The true inferiority complex occurs when these two points are met:
- You must always be better than others.
- You think you are worse than others - a general feeling of inadequacy that is not based on reality.
Differences between knowing that you are inferior and feeling inferior
First of all, I will try to differentiate between two different concepts: knowing that one is inferior to someone in some way and feeling inferior.
Knowing that you are inferior has no negative connotation and does not lead to discomfort. I may know that I am less attractive than Brad Pitt, that I have less money than Amancio Ortega or that I do not hit as much as my neighbor, but that does not lead me to feel inferior and have a negative feeling of inadequacy.
Tips for dealing with the inferiority complex
Because the inferiority complex is created from your thoughts, you will have to overcome it from them.
1) Accept yourself physically and personally
Your feelings of inferiority are likely not related to your successes in a certain area of life or your social or economic status.
It is a feeling that comes from your interpretation of the world, from your thoughts and even if you try to change the exterior with the maximum effort, you will not be helping yourself.
Some people spend their lives buying and collecting things and still suffer from complexes. Any effort to try to improve personally, achieve successes or goals, will be positive in your life, although with them you will not fix an inferiority complex.
That is why it is necessary that you accept yourself as you are. From this, try to improve while always accepting your way of being and your characteristics and personal traits.
If you need extra motivation, he recommends these phrases.
2) be specific
There are millions of people in the world. Ask yourself what kind of people you feel inferior to. Rich people? Attractive people? Smart people?
Now ask yourself exactly which people in particular you feel inferior to. If that person is called Juan Domingo, ask yourself: Why do I feel inferior to him? How am I inferior to him?
You have gone from being inferior to being inferior to a specific person. Now reflect on the ways in which you are superior to that person. Is it as smart as you? Does it have your physical shape? Is she as nice as you? Has your health?
3) Be aware of your critical voice
Your critical voice is responsible for the negative thoughts and phrases that you say to yourself such as: "They don't accept me because I'm not attractive," "I'm not smart."
Do not try to eliminate those thoughts because you will get the opposite effect (that they appear more). Rather, accept them, question them, and try to change them. To do this, I recommend that you practice mindfulness and write down your frequent negative thoughts in a journal.
Likewise, the critical voice is responsible for negative labels that describe negative traits such as silly, bad, ugly, short…
You will also have to work to get rid of those labels, being aware of them and establishing new beliefs about yourself. Self-affirmations can work although only in the short term and if they are in accordance with your beliefs, that is, it is important that you treat the underlying causes of the inferiority complex.
4) Do not always accept the opinion of others
It is possible that the cause of your inferiority complex is in your past and that is why it is good that you reflect on it. Someone may have insulted you or disrespected you when you were a child, a teenager, or as an adult.
Do you think it makes sense to believe that you are of little value because of someone's opinion? What authority does that person have? What's more, people who insult others or treat them disrespectfully tend to have complexes and psychological problems.
It is not possible to determine the value of anyone based on the opinion of someone, not even a large group. Some of the people who have contributed the most to humanity like Gandhi, Mandela or the Dalai Lama, would never have insulted anyone or considered someone inferior.
5) Build your self-esteem
Self-esteem and feelings of inferiority are incompatible.
Building positive self-esteem will always help you to be happy and promote your well-being. For this I recommend that you read this article.