HOW TO OVERCOME THE FEAR OF FAILURE IN 9 STEPS - ARTE - 2025

If you are afraid of failure, you are going to sabotage yourself and prevent the achievement of difficult goals or anything else, even if their achievement does not require much effort. It is therefore important that you learn how to overcome that fear of failure. In this article I will tell you about it.

Failure is actually an opinion. For people who think more positively, failing is not trying anything difficult or new and settling for mediocre or worse, below mediocre.

If you are afraid of failure, you will show it throughout your life in various ways. Some everyday examples are:

• You don't try to study more for fear of failing.
• You don't try to ask for a raise or a job upgrade because you think you will be looked down on or fired.
• You don't sign up for tennis classes because you think you'll do it wrong.
• You don't try to hook up with someone you like for fear of not succeeding.
• You do not start your own business because you are afraid of hitting yourself and others thinking badly.
• You do not travel abroad because you believe that other countries are already saturated with foreigners and you will not find work.

It is therefore seen in different areas of life:

• Economy: not risk improving "financial health".
• Personal / relational: do not risk growing personally or meeting better partners.
• Professional: do not risk seeking better positions or improving training.

Cultural influence

In Spain and Latin America there is a particular fear of failure, people tend to take few risks. The reality is that it is reinforced to follow the marked path and not to go for other less known or that carry more risk.

It is completely normal for parents to encourage their children to finish their degree, master's degree, doctorate, another career, look for work, take competitive examinations to work for the state… And that is very good, although I think they should also be encouraged to take risks.

If you have a parent who has congratulated you on passing exams, it will be normal. If you have parents who encourage you to take risks, please leave your comments because you will be the exception and I am interested in your opinion.

On the other hand, one does not tend to admire, for example, great entrepreneurs. Rather, they are rejected. It is difficult to see a young man admire a Bill Gates, Warren Buffett or Steve Jobs. I refer to these people because they are the ones who create jobs and employment is what makes countries grow economically.

It is normal to hear the typical person who says:

• "I don't need much to live, I settle for my job."
• "Being ambitious leads to greed and that's bad."
• "Those are the ones who cause all the problems."
• «Better known than bad to know, I don't risk myself»
• "The rich are rich because they exploit others."

Ultimately, culture greatly influences the perception of failure. If risk is encouraged, there is a greater chance of taking risks. If taking risks or failing is punished, it will be more difficult for someone to take risks.

Success is relative

Why in Spain and Latin America some people disgust the word success? The truth is that I cannot give an exact explanation. I think it is a self-defense mechanism of the ego. "As I do not risk and effort, I criticize those who seek success."

However, it seems totally absurd to me. Call it succeeding, achieving goals, success or whatever, but for me, the definition is clear:

It could be being a member of a soccer team, moving up in your company, being rich, having a good guy… And if you don't recognize that you love her, you will make excuses to explain why you are not going for them.

Fear of Leaving the Herd-Rejecting the Winner

I'm going to explain this to you with a simple example:

And this you will perceive in many other cases:

• If you get promoted, your co-workers may give you a bad look.
• If you are the president of a company, people will probably find any excuse to criticize you.
• If a "big team" signs you, your teammates who stay on the small team may criticize you.

The prevailing mentality is to criticize the one who succeeds or achieves great achievements and not to admire him. If you want to have an advantage or help yourself, be smart: Admire people who have achieved the achievements you want.

In this way you will tend to learn from them, "to follow their paths."

Cases of resounding failures

• Richard Branson, one of the richest people in the world, dropped out of school.
• Warren Buffet, the second richest in the world, was rejected from Harvard University.
• Michael Jordan was fired from his high school team because his coach thought he didn't have enough skills.

How to overcome the fear of failure?

1-Put your focus on the benefits and accept failure

If you are afraid of failing at everything, surely you have not yet found something that motivates you enough.

You need to focus your attention on the benefits you will get when you start something. You will also have to know the risks to avoid them. It's about taking risks wisely.

On the other hand, try to accept that failures will happen and that they are inevitable.

2-Change your mindset

If you adopt the following way of thinking, your way of acting in the world will have changed forever.

What if you think there are no failures? What if you think that failure is the way to success? You may think that you learn from everything, that even if you set a goal and you don't achieve it, you will have learned.

This way of thinking will make you much less likely to give up. It is a change of belief.

Imagine Raúl, who is preparing a 40-kilometer marathon:

• First year: it is presented and does not reach 20 kilometers. But he thinks: "It helped me realize that I have to train more."
• Second year: it is presented and only reaches 30 kilometers. But think: "I have trained better but I have to keep improving my diet and training."
• Third year: runs the entire length.

If this boy had thought in the first year: "I'm not good for this, my genetics can't handle it", he would have abandoned the first year.

3-Set clear goals

In reality, all of our behavior is directed toward goals, although most people are not aware of them or write them down.

If you are going to eat, your goal will be to eat. If you go to tennis classes, your goal will be to play tennis. If you go out, your goal will be to flirt or have fun.

Therefore, to achieve something you want, be aware of what you really want and set specific and time-defined goals.

Visit this article to learn more about them.

4-Increase your achievement motivation

The achievement motivation is the motivation towards achieving normally somewhat difficult goals. For example, students who have high achievement motivation get better grades.

Unlike those who are afraid of failure, they set higher levels of aspiration, persist longer despite experiencing failure, and strive longer.

In turn, students who have high achievement motivation tend to choose peers who excel in the task, while those who are afraid of failure prefer peers with whom they have a relationship.

5-Have low motivation to avoid failure

You heard them right: have low motivation to avoid failure. Or what is the same, that you do not like not to fail.

From research it has been known that students who have high achievement motivation and low motivation to avoid failure are characterized by feeling more motivated when they experience some failure.

In fact, easy success lowers your motivation. They look for challenges of some difficulty, they work hard before abandoning a task and they isolate themselves with peers who stand out.

Students who have low achievement motivation and high motivation to avoid failure, are characterized by feeling motivated only by success and not by failure, they look for simple or excessively difficult tasks because they tire quickly, since they do not have constancy. They also look for companions who are friendly and do not stand out.

6-Reward yourself for acting

When you have really acted and risked failure, give yourself a reward.

If, for example, you have gone out to speak in public, give yourself a prize (something that attacks you; a chocolate bar for example) and cheer up ("you did well, crack").

7-Avoid excuses

Something that tremendously prevents the achievement of difficult goals that you want are excuses.

They are interpretations that we make of our life to feel good about ourselves. However, they are extremely negative.

The problem is that if you do not realize them and later recognize them as excuses, you will never be free of their power to chain you.

It is impossible to achieve something, if you believe that what you want in your life does not depend on you and that the bad thing that happens to you depends on others or uncontrollable factors.

Examples:

• I don't go to the gym because this is my physique, it's my genetics.
• My parents are responsible for making this bad.
• I am not good for this.
• I don't like studying, I get bored.
• I don't know how I can be with him, I can take him less and less. But I want it.

8-Do something you can fail at

The only way not to fail is to do nothing. And to achieve something, you have to risk failure.

In reality, you always have a chance of failing, although the odds will decrease as your goal becomes easier.

To achieve success, you must have a chance of failure. And the more difficult it is, the more likely you are to fall, but you can always get up.

9-Get used to being criticized

If you do anything new, you are going to have to get used to being criticized. There will always be someone to do it.

If you expose your project in your company, they will criticize you. If you give your opinion too. If you achieve something too.

It's actually a good habit not to seek approval, because that way you tend to do what you really want.

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