HOW TO CONTROL EMOTIONS: 11 PRACTICAL TIPS - ARTE - 2025

Managing and managing emotions is one of the most important skills you can learn. They are part of emotional intelligence and if you develop it you will have a higher quality of life, you will develop better personal relationships and you will have more professional success.

In this article I will explain how to control negative emotions and feelings to have a more pleasant life, build good relationships and avoid conflicts. The renowned German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche has already said it: "Thoughts come when they want and not when we want."

Negative emotions appear and disappear, and in many cases we cannot manage them. On the other hand, we see that people react differently to the same situation.

There are different theories about the level of management you can have over your emotions, however most of them agree on one thing: the way a person interprets their emotions determines the way they live that experience.

In that sense, they can be handled properly and how you experience and interpret them will be up to you.

Tips to control your emotions

The emotional plane is highly variable and depends on the personality of each one. The experiences you have had and how you have processed them is what largely determines the way you act and feel today.

You may not be able to avoid feeling certain negative or unpleasant emotions, but you can manage them so that they affect you as little as possible and allow you to live happily.

Here are some practices and ways of thinking that will help you control your emotions:

1-Find ways to distract yourself

When you feel angry or very anxious, never let these feelings wash over you; try to change the tune immediately.

The reason for the anger or anxiety is surely defined, do not reflect on it anymore. Distraction is very effective for emotions such as anger and anxiety, whose effects are seen in the short term.

Regarding the ways to distract yourself, you have many. The important thing is to start doing something else when you feel anger.

2-Think about your nearest future

When you are particularly sad, confused, and cannot think clearly, this practice can be very helpful.

Whatever it is that is keeping you from thinking clearly, put a brake on it. Don't project too long and only think about the immediate future.

Uncertainty is one of the most difficult feelings to handle. It is the key ingredient to unleash the anxiety and then the anguish occurs because of not being able to solve things.

When you think in the longer term, the more complex everything will be. You will see an infinity of obstacles and you will not see any exit. There you run the risk of succumbing.

Think about the most immediate thing to solve and focus your energies on it. Then there will be time to move on to the next problem.

Always ask yourself the following question: What is the worst that can happen to you? The answer usually shows you that the situation is not as serious as you think. Anxious or distressed people tend to overestimate problems.

When you feel anxious about obtaining a result, and you wish to see it immediately, waiting becomes an ordeal. You have organized your son's birthday and there are rain forecasts. You start to get anxious and don't know what to do.

Cancel everything or wait for the day to come? You can't stand the anxiety and your bad mood begins. What's the worst that can happen if it rains? That the children cannot be in the yard and have to enter the classroom? It may not be that serious and you are worrying more.

If you are constantly worried and that state has lasted several months you may have generalized anxiety.

3-Practice relaxation or meditation techniques

It is scientifically proven that meditation helps eliminate negative thoughts. It has nothing to do with philosophical or religious beliefs. They are only practices that promote a state of relaxation and disconnection from everything that is overwhelming.

You are in the digital age and your mind is bombarded daily with lots of instant information. Everything is designed so that things are faster and you do not have to wait. The current pace of life often encourages anxiety to get more things faster.

Take time to disconnect from everyday life, practice relaxation techniques, relax your mind, and release stress.

This is a step-by-step meditation for beginners:

Step by Step:

1. Sit upright in a comfortable chair, putting one hand on your stomach and one on your chest
2. Breathe through your nose for 4 seconds slowly, so that the hand on your stomach rises and the hand on your chest rises very little
3. Hold the air for 4 seconds
4. Exhale the air through your mouth for 4 seconds slowly, expelling as much air as you can, while contracting your abdomen
5. The seconds I tell you are a proposal, make modifications until you feel completely comfortable. Practice is the key

4-Take time to see things from another perspective

It is not easy, especially when living in a situation that generates anguish or fear, but it is absolutely necessary.

It doesn't matter what you plan to do or if you haven't thought of anything yet. When emotions are running high, you have a very narrow view of what is happening.

When you take the time to let the emotions of the moment pass, to consider other hypotheses or simply to let things decay, then you will see the situation in a different way.

5-Develop a critical spirit

If you can do it when your emotions have not yet invaded you then better. That way you can make a more objective assessment. If there is an emotion that makes you feel bad and it is recurring then there is something that is not right.

When experiencing a distressing or very angry situation is frequent, obviously there is something in you that is out of control.

That does not mean that you are guilty or have irreversible defects. That means there are things about you that you can change.

Albert Einstein used to say that if you do something whose result is negative and you continue to do it in the same way, then you cannot expect the result to change. The moral is: change what is not working!

6-Find the engine of your emotions

Whatever emotion you experience, whether it makes you feel good or bad, you need to understand how the mechanism that triggers it is activated.

Understanding why we act or feel in a certain way before certain stimuli is part of the first concept of emotional intelligence. To be able to modify or control something, you have to have that “something” well identified and know it well.

If you feel an uncontrollable rage every time someone in authority makes an observation or sanction, then there is a recurring element.

Ask yourself what is really bothering you and identify the stages of the process that lead you to that state.

That way you will be able to understand what it is that really makes you so angry, and as a consequence you can control the cause that causes the anger.

7-Think about your virtues and all the good that is in you

Although journaling is not fashionable these days, it is a technique that works well. Writing is a form of expression, and although you may prefer other ways of doing it, this one has great advantages.

When you are sad, angry or very distressed, write in your words everything you feel. Remember that what you are going to write does not have to be read by anyone, if you don't want to.

When you write, do not save any words or comments. Everything will be very useful to download all the negative, and when you read it later, you will be able to relate that state of mind to what happened later, and if the experience was good then you can repeat it.

Writing is very beneficial for when you feel very confused. If you have a lot of ideas but can't prioritize, write them down in the order they come up.

Then read them carefully and prioritize them as much as you can. Reading those priorities frequently will help you stay focused on what you have defined.