- What is self-control?
- Self-control strategies for children and adults
- 1. Recognize when you have low energy
- 2. Make a commitment
- 3. Use rewards
- 4. Use punishments
- 5. Fight the unconscious
- 6. Adjust expectations
- 7. Adjust your values
- 8. Use your emotions
- 9. Use self-affirmations
- 10. Think abstract
- 11. Discover your weaknesses
- 12. Partner with technology
- 13. Choose or modify the situation
- And one last reason to avoid temptation ...
The self - control is vital to achieve goals, to have healthy relationships and generally be happy. People who have good self-control tend to be more popular and more successful in various areas of life.
However, those with low self-control are at risk of overeating, addiction, or poor performance. Unfortunately, as we all know, self-control sometimes fails and part of the problem is that we overestimate our ability to resist temptation.
The good news is that you can learn to control your emotions, it's like working a muscle. You just need to do the right kind of mental exercises.
What is self-control?
Self-control is the ability to regulate emotions, thoughts, and behavior in the face of temptations and impulses. As an executive function, it is a cognitive process that is necessary to regulate behavior and achieve specific goals.
Self-control separates us from our ancient ancestors and from other animals, thanks to our large prefrontal cortex. It is the ability to subdue our impulses to achieve long-term goals.
Instead of responding to immediate urges, we can plan, evaluate alternative actions, and often avoid doing things that we will later regret. The ability to exercise self-control is typically called willpower.
Self-control is like a muscle. According to numerous studies, it is a limited resource that works like energy.
If a person tries to control himself too much, he will feel mentally drained. For example, if someone wants to quit smoking, they are expending energy to avoid temptation.
It is one of the reasons that someone can more easily "fall into temptation" when they feel exhausted or stressed. However, it can be worked on and improved to use less energy in the long run.
Here are 10 self-control techniques for children and adults that will improve based on scientific research.
Self-control strategies for children and adults
1. Recognize when you have low energy
Research has shown that self-control is a limitless resource. Exercising it has clear psychological and physiological effects, such as lower glucose levels.
At any time we have a " limit " of self-control. When you've been controlling yourself, you've wasted energy and have a better chance of being tempted. Psychologists call this " ego depletion."
2. Make a commitment
Make a decision before tempted. C omprometerte to achieve difficult goals can go to get a great performance. In a study by Ariely and Wertenbroch (2002), students who set strict time limits for completing tasks performed better than those who did not set any limits.
It's hard to compromise because we usually like to leave our options open. But if you are hard on yourself, you will surely not regret it.
Examples of commitments:
-Put time limits to finish tasks.
-Go out with a limited amount of money.
-Only have healthy food at home to avoid the temptation to eat sweets or fatty foods.
3. Use rewards
The rewards can work to strengthen self - control. Trope and Fishbach (2000) found that study participants were able to make short-term sacrifices for long-term gains when they had a reward in mind that they would give to themselves. So rewarding ourselves works.
4. Use punishments
We should not only promise ourselves a reward for good behavior, but also punishment for bad behavior. When Trope and Fishbach (2000) evaluated participants' self-imposed punishments, they found that the threat of punishment encouraged them to achieve long-term goals.
5. Fight the unconscious
Part of the reason we are easily tempted is that our unconscious is always poised to undermine our best intentions. Fishbach et al. (2003) found that their study participants were easily tempted outside of their conscious limits.
6. Adjust expectations
Even if it doesn't come naturally, try to be optimistic about your ability to avoid temptations.
Studies such as that of Zhang and Fishbach (2010) suggest that being optimistic about the ability to avoid temptations and achieve goals can be beneficial.
Allow yourself to overestimate your ability to achieve your goal, to the extent that you do not fall into fantasy and do not stop applying other self-control techniques.
7. Adjust your values
Just as you can try to think more optimistically, you can also change how you value goals and temptations. Research suggests that devaluing temptations and increasing the value of goals improves performance (Fishbach et al., 2009).
8. Use your emotions
Emotions often control reason, so use your emotions to increase self-control.
In a study by (Mischel & Baker, 1975), participating children were able to resist eating marshmallows by thinking of them as white clouds.
9. Use self-affirmations
Sometimes exercising self-control means avoiding a bad habit. One way to do this is by using self-affirmations; reaffirm the core values you believe in; it could be family, work, loyalty… as long as it is a core value of yours.
When study participants did this, their self-control was restored. Thinking about your core values can help regain your self-control when it has waned.
10. Think abstract
Part of the reason that self-assertions work is that they make us think in the abstract, and abstract thinking has been shown to improve self-control.
In one study (Fujita et al., 2006) they found that people who thought in the abstract were more likely to avoid temptation and were better able to persist in more difficult tasks.
We are better able to think in the abstract if we think about the reasons for doing something, rather than just thinking about how we do it.
11. Discover your weaknesses
Sometimes the problems of not controlling ourselves are due to an ignorance of what really makes us succumb to temptation. If there are certain situations where you don't know the reason for your behavior, analyze the pressure points and triggers that are causing you to lose your composure.
12. Partner with technology
Although for many people it can be stressful, technology can be a great ally if the right tools are used. For example, if the problem is time management, there are apps to improve productivity or motivate you not to waste time.
13. Choose or modify the situation
Many of the emotional self-control problems can be avoided simply by selecting the situation. This means that if you know that something is going to displease you or produce feelings of anger or rage, just avoid it.
For example, if being late for work due to a traffic jam is a trigger for your moodiness during the day, choose to leave a little before your usual time from home or take some means of transport with which you can avoid traffic jams.
And one last reason to avoid temptation…
There are people who think that by falling into temptation just once, they will come back with more energy to control themselves and not fall again. For example: that by smoking a cigarette nothing happens and that after it we will be more willing to quit permanently.
However, research in psychology has shown that this is not true. In one study (Fishbach et al., 2010), students who had a good break to 'recharge' showed no more motivation when returning.