VERBAL VIOLENCE: CHARACTERISTICS AND WHAT TO DO IF YOU SUFFER IT - GEOGRAFÍA - 2025

The verbal violence or verbal abuse is characterized by accusations, insults, threats, lawsuits, degrading criticism, aggressive or shouting orders. All those actions are a form of violence and you don't have to tolerate them. You must know that supporting these attitudes is very harmful for you and also for children.

The simple act of uttering phrases that are intended to undermine the dignity and self-esteem of the other person through insults or humiliation, if repeated over a period of time, is considered verbal violence. On the other hand, this type of violence can occur both from men to women and vice versa.

What is considered verbal violence?

There are actually many forms of verbal violence, here are some examples with which you may feel identified:

Accusations and blame

He / she holds you responsible for everything bad that happens. You are always the culprit, the one who has made a mistake or the one who has had bad intentions.

Degrading words

It can be quite a subtle and insidious form of verbal violence. It makes you feel of little value, even if you often say those words with a smile on your face. Remember that all teasing and put-downs are part of verbal violence.

Dialog lock

If he does not talk to you, if he rejects all kinds of communication when he is not in the mood or prevents conflict resolution through dialogue, if he isolates you and avoids talking, it is also a form of verbal violence.

He judges you and criticizes you

Everything you do is wrong. He / she points out all your flaws and even though he / she says it is to help you, he / she is actually disqualifying you.

Trivialize

It downplays your opinions on all topics. It takes something you've said or done and makes it insignificant. If you do it honestly and frankly, this type of abuse can be difficult to detect. When he / she takes this attitude, you may feel confused and you may think that you have not explained your opinion well.

Threats

A clear example of this type of verbal violence is the typical phrase: "If you leave me I'll kill myself." It is an emotional manipulation that makes your greatest terrors appear in you, which slowly kills your self-esteem.

Gives you orders

Act as if you are his employee or his slave.

"Reification"

Treats you like you are a thing. If he says phrases like "get out of there" or "move on."

Yelling and insults

At first it may be in private, but over time, he will likely start yelling or insulting you in public. He may say things like "How stupid are you" or "Give it up, I can do better", or maybe worse.

In all cases, in addition to the words, the tone in which he speaks to you and the gestures are also important, which can add much more violence to the sentences.

Reactions to reproaches

If you reproach him / her for his / her attitude, he / she is likely to react in the following ways:

Ignore your claim. They just say they don't know what you're talking about.

Minimize the situation. It tells you that you are exaggerating, that it is not so bad.

It generates greater abuse. "Now you're going to see" or "I'm going to give you real reasons to complain."

Unfortunately, many people downplay these types of situations, but they shouldn't. Verbal attack is as serious as physical abuse. Although it does not leave traces on the body, it hurts the soul and affects mental health.

Consequences of verbal abuse

If you continue to endure verbal violence from your partner, your self-esteem will be destroyed. Over time, you may have depression, anxiety, panic attacks, phobias, post-traumatic stress disorder, or sexual dysfunctions.

It is also possible that you lose your social life, that you move away from your family and your friends, as this situation will negatively affect all areas of your life.

The cycle of domestic violence

It all starts with an invisible or silent stage that can last from a few months to several years. It begins in a subtle way, the aggressor usually begins with an excessive control towards his partner that can be confused with jealousy.

Control how you dress, what time you go out or who you talk to. Little by little, humiliation or contempt for your qualities as a woman / man begin to appear; she will probably ridicule you too, but all in private at first. Later, sometimes in front of other people as well.

In this way, your autonomy and your ability to react or defend gradually diminish. The aggressive behavior increases in frequency and intensity, until finally you can't take it anymore and ask for help.

Here begins the visible stage of the cycle. Many find out what is happening to you and some may not believe you, because he / she seems to be a good person in the eyes of others.

The cycle of family violence has three phases, which you will surely recognize immediately if you have experienced this type of situation:

• Voltage build-up phase. Hostile behaviors in the couple are generating conflicts. Verbal violence appears subtly and in some cases, also physical violence, sudden mood swings, etc. The victim tries to calm her partner, please her and avoid confrontations, because she is not aware of the cycle of violence in which she is involved.
• Aggression phase. In this phase, the abuser gives free rein to his aggressiveness and shows himself as he is. The victim feels anxiety and fear and asks for help from a friend, her family or directly decides to separate from her partner.
• Reconciliation phase. After the violent episodes, when the aggressor believes that he is really at risk of being abandoned, in general he is sorry, he asks for forgiveness, for a time he becomes kind and affectionate, he swears that he will never be aggressive again and the couple lives for a few days one beautiful "honeymoon". But shortly after, the cycle begins again.

These phases explain how many women endure abuse for a long time. But you must cut this cycle, you do not have to endure more abuse, the vast majority of bullies never change their attitude.

What to do if you are a victim of verbal violence?

Most of the victims of verbal violence in the intimate partner are women, although there are also some men. Verbal violence can also happen at work, transforming in this case into a form of workplace harassment.

First of all, what you need to do is keep yourself well informed. If there is verbal violence in your partner, then you both have a problem.

He is likely an aggressive man, but you are also tolerating this behavior on his part: it is likely that your self-esteem is too low to be able to face him or move away from that situation.

If you receive a daily barrage of offensive or hurtful phrases, your self-esteem will decrease and you will likely feel very depressed. You must end this situation as soon as possible.

And to achieve this, you will need help from your family, your friends and a professional. Surely it will be good for you to consult a psychologist to help you out of this problem.

Verbal violence towards children

Words have certain powers, especially when spoken from a parent to a child. Children see the world through the eyes of their parents, and completely and absolutely believe everything they say.

Imagine then the effect that hurtful words spoken by their own parents can have on a young child. It is simply devastating to your self-esteem.

The screams and momentary outbursts of anger may bring immediate discipline, but they undoubtedly cause deep wounds and very negative consequences for children's self-worth.

Parents often say things without much thought, especially when they are angry.

Unfortunately, phrases such as "you are a fool", "I wish you had never been born", "why are you not like your brother", "why do you do everything wrong", or "if you do not behave well I will not love you more", They are phrases of verbal violence that can do a lot of damage.

This type of attitude leaves them unable to react, limits their social skills and reduces their confidence in themselves. Thus, it is likely that the child who is attacked will have difficulties making friends, lower his performance in school or wet the bed again.

If you are having these types of attitudes or if your partner has them towards your children, you should stop or stop him immediately and be aware that it is a type of child abuse.

You must take whatever steps are necessary to end this situation. Surely you will need help, the support of family and close friends will be essential. And of course, consultation with a professional will also be very important.

In short, verbal violence is also a form of mistreatment and abuse, and should not be tolerated under any circumstances. Violence and abuse are the opposite of love, so if you encounter such a situation, you should take action immediately.