OVERCOMING A GRIEF OVER LOSING SOMEONE YOU LOVE: 7 TIPS - ARTE - 2024

The death of a loved one is the most painful experience that a human being has to live. When a well-known person dies, be it a colleague or the neighborhood shopkeeper for example, we feel very sad.

In this article I explain how to overcome a mourning for the death of a loved one; father, mother, siblings, children… Although at first it is painful more difficult with time and following certain indications you can overcome and feel happy again.

When we have to face the death of a parent, a brother or a partner, then the pain can become unbearable. To think that there is some strategy that frees us from that pain would be very naive and unreal on our part.

However, there are mechanisms, behaviors and activities that can help us to go through grief in a more "harmonious" way. Each human being lives death in a different way and reacts in a different way as well.

Among other things, we react and feel how we can, rather than how we want. So the first thing is to remove yourself from the responsibility of having to respond in the same way or having to be fine within a certain period of time.

Although there are no rules, a person who cannot resume their daily activities after the year of the death of that special being, is not being able to cope with the situation naturally.

In that case, psychological help is necessary, says the American Psychological Association.

7 tips to overcome a duel in a healthy way

Time begins to pass and that is inevitable. You should try then that this time helps you to integrate and accept your pain as something really natural.

Everyone at some point in life will go through these experiences and if nature has determined that this is the case, it is because we are capable of living it.

Let your pain be free

Many times either because your family or friends do not want to see you badly or because society does not allow it, you feel that you must overcome your pain quickly.

But this is not possible, the pain of a death is very great and you should not hide it or deceive yourself thinking that you will overcome it right away. Your daily life will change and that is natural. If you feel like crying, do it. You don't have to hide your pain.

What you are feeling is normal and as such you have to live it. Do not get carried away by what other people think, you are the one who is processing a duel and you should do it your way.

Accept the new situation

It's easy to say but not to feel it. Also one day we will leave and there will be people crying for us.

Dying is part of the cycle of life, and little by little, over time, you will be able to accept the death of your loved one as something natural. Accepting that life has hard stages and happy stages will help you to better overcome this situation.

Do not close yourself to others

When the pain is very great, the world seems to revolve around that pain and you may think that you are the only one who is suffering.

Although each member of the family suffers the death of a loved one from a different place, there is something in common: the pain of absence. Try to open up and reach out to people who are also grieving, like you.

If you think it will do you good to talk about that person's death then do so. If you feel a desire to see a belonging of that person and someone in your family has one, then take the opportunity.

When the load is shared, it becomes lighter. Be patient with yourself. Many times the worst enemy when overcoming a loss is ourselves. As part of not accepting what has happened, we sometimes try to act as if nothing happened.

We pretend that our entire routine gets on track normally right away, but this is simply not possible. Another thing we must accept, in addition to the death of the loved one, is that this loss has changed our life.

It doesn't matter if it takes 6, 8, or 12 months to feel better. The important thing is that you get to that moment in a healthy way, having gone through all the stages of grief.

Don't make big decisions

After such a moving experience, no one has sufficient clarity of ideas to evaluate and make important decisions.

Sometimes it seems that everyday life and the world that does not stop turning does not have time to wait for you, especially in financial matters. The bills to pay arrive, the financial commitments do not wait and they do not understand duels.

However, he thinks that precisely making an economic decision such as selling a property or contracting a debt requires a great analysis.

And you are not in a position to do it, not because you are not capable but because you are at a stage in which your priority should be to resume a normal life.

Give yourself certain opportunities

Perhaps you have been invited to a party and you think it would not be appropriate since you are grieving.

Especially in the past, it was frowned upon for a person to attend an event if they had recently lost a loved one.

In fact, when women were widowed, they "had to" wear black. Although the tradition continues today, it is no longer so prevalent.

There is nothing wrong with using a beautiful color, the kind that transmit happiness. It is also not bad to attend a party where you can chat and be distracted.

That will not make your pain or the memory of the person disappear far from it. But it is beneficial that at least for a while, you can distract yourself and have a good time.

I don't mean to do it soon after, but when a reasonable amount of time has passed it is important that you start socializing again.

Don't self-medicate or self-analyze

If you feel that you need help, be it psychological or pharmacological, it is not you who should decide.

You should consult with a professional, and if you are, you should consult someone else, someone who can objectively assess your situation. Medications and especially psychotropic drugs have contraindications.

Trying to “cover up” pain with an antidepressant can be a big mistake. However, depression is one of the disorders that can be triggered by the loss of a loved one.

If determined by the specialist, you may need to take antidepressants. But in any case that is something that you should not decide.

There are no magic or professional formulas that will take away pain instantly. The true power to cope after a death is in ourselves.

We really are stronger than we think and no one dies of sadness. It is possible to grow, enrich and learn from it. You can do it too!

Finally, I recommend you read this article. Try to overcome a breakup, although in reality it is a duel (although the person you love leaves, does not die).

The 5 stages of grief

Although we are all different, there are natural behaviors and reactions that are very similar in human beings.

When a loved one has passed away, a process begins, which according to scientific studies consists of the following phases:

Shock phase

It begins with the first moment in which we have heard the news. Phrases like "I can't believe it" or "this is not happening" are typical of this stage that hits us.

When humans are in shock, they can adopt different behaviors, from being completely paralyzed to fainting.

Rebellion phase

Once the shock has passed and you begin to make contact with what has happened, a feeling of rebellion and denial is likely to arise.

It is difficult to accept that this painful and unfair thing is happening. Why me? Why at this time in my life? They could be phrases typical of this stage.

Feelings of injustice, vulnerability and insecurity characterize this phase. Certain health disorders can also appear, such as insomnia or lack of appetite, among others.

Disorganization phase

Everything seems to be spinning and you may not be able to find meaning and order to things. You are increasingly aware that that loved one is gone and it seems that everything is in chaos.

When you wake up or in moments of inactivity, you immediately think of the person who has passed away.

Reorganization phase

After feeling disoriented and not knowing very well what to do, calm and tranquility arrive. Little by little you begin to accept that this person is not there and will not return.

You become aware that your life must go on and you begin to convince yourself that "there is no other way to go." The ascending and recovery stage begins. The time each phase lasts is variable but in general, when the year arrives, the fourth phase should already be beginning.

Here you will have resumed your activities with total normality and that acute pain that you felt at the beginning will transform into sadness. As time continues, you will begin to remember with joy the moments shared with that person.

Remember: the pain or sadness may never completely disappear, but they will be transformed and you will feel that you can live with that loss in a natural way.