PSYCHOLOGY OF LOVE: WHY DO WE FALL IN LOVE? - PSYCHOLOGY - 2025

The psychology of love is based on the study and research of love, which is interpreted as a feeling relatively exclusive to human beings. Love is, among all emotions, the most specific emotion of human beings and the one with the greatest complexity.

Love is probably the most important and important feeling that people can experience. Love emotions are one of the most intense affective manifestations and the one that is most difficult for us to understand and interpret when we express or experience them.

Clinically, love is the event that most frequently triggers mood alterations, depressive manifestations and anxiety, and generates the main intrapersonal and interpersonal questions.

In view of all this, a marked interest has been uncovered in the scientific community about this phenomenon and more and more studies are analyzing its main characteristics.

Construction of the concept of love

Love is understood as a social construction, that is, a phenomenon that appears after coexistence and relationship between people. This social construction is used in a general way to give a name to the affinity between beings, characterizing a specific type of relationship marked by the experimentation of a series of emotions, feelings and sensations.

The first approaches to this word appeared already in ancient Greece, when the term "agape de eros" emerged. Four different types of love appeared: agape (love of God), storge (love in the family), fileo (love between friends) and eros (love of a couple).

The concept of love was born from a clear philosophical perspective from the hand of authors such as Plato and Socrates. However, limiting this phenomenon to philosophy would be to make a mistake in conceptualization and interpretation.

Love, like all social constructs, implies popular, esoteric, spiritual, religious, philosophical, cultural and even scientific perspectives. In fact, the historical-cultural differences that the concept of love presents are numerous.

For example, while in Persian culture the act of loving can be performed on any person, situation or concept, in Turkish culture the idea of ​​loving is reserved in the sexual and sentimental context.

Although the analysis of cultural differences is not the object of this article, taking these aspects into account is especially relevant to properly understand the characteristics of the psychology of love.

Scientific perspective of love

The psychology of love is part of the scientific perspective, which is responsible for the evidence-based study of these concepts. In the scientific perspective, approaches from biology, biosociology, neuroscience, psychology and anthropology are integrated.

Love is interpreted as the nucleus of life, of human relationships, of the feeling of the senses. All people have the ability to love and be loved, so it creates a manifestation that is widespread throughout society.

Thus, the factors involved in the appearance of this phenomenon are studied, from different disciplines, with the aim of finding evidence that allows defining and conceptualizing love from a scientific point of view.

Biological and psychobiological aspects

As with all psychological aspects and those relating to the human psyche, it is argued that biology and genetics play a more or less important role.

Despite the fact that love as a social concept does not constitute a technical notion of biology, the physiological and mental reactions involved in the experimentation of this type of feelings are.

Biology, and specifically psychobiology, studies the organic bases that modulate the specific mental states that make up the appearance of feelings of love or rather, the subjective feeling of love.

Brain regions have been described that seem to play a fundamental role in the elaboration of feelings of love. In general, three main systems are postulated:

Activation of the amygdala

It is the brain structure that is responsible for producing emotions and emotional responses quickly. The amygdala provides behavioral and emotional responses to the presentation of stimuli before they are processed by other brain regions.

Activating the amygdala seems to be the key to starting the process of making emotions and feelings of love.

Activation of reward centers

The limbic system, also known as the reward system, brings together a series of brain structures that allow the experimentation of pleasure. The gratifying sensations produced by the activation of these brain areas are not exclusive to feelings of love since they encompass any sensation of pleasure.

However, it is postulated that the subjective feeling of love does not appear without the perception of gratification and reward, so these bases are essential for the elaboration of feelings of love.

Activation of the hippocampus

The hippocampus is the main brain region that allows the memory and storage of information. Thus, memory largely resides in this small structure located in the temporal lobe of the cortex. The activation of the hippocampus is also essential for the elaboration of the subjective feeling of love.

Love and memory seem to be closely related concepts, since to experience these emotions, related memories must be stored accompanied by a certain affective charge.

Triangular theory of love

Biological models of sex tend to view love as a mammalian drive, such as hunger or thirst. It is postulated that the experience of love develops in a way related to sexual practice and desire.

In this sense, Helen Fischer, a researcher in the department of anthropology at Rutgers University, described the elaboration of the objective sensation of love in terms of three main stages.

In each of these stages a different brain process would develop and the activation of the three stages would initiate the elaboration of the feeling of humor. The three phases postulated by the author are:

- Sex drive or sexual arousal

It makes the most basic sexual process of the human being, which is regulated by two hormones: mainly testosterone and slightly estrogens.

It develops in the anterior cingulate cortex of the brain, is of short duration (a few weeks or months) and its function lies in the search for a mate.

- Selective sexual attraction

It is mainly regulated by dopamine, a substance in the brain that allows the pleasure regions discussed above to function. It is a more individualized and romantic desire towards a given individual for mating, which develops independently of sexual arousal.

The latest neuroscience studies indicate how, as people fall in love, the brain secretes in increasing amounts a series of chemicals, mainly pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin.

These substances stimulate the pleasure center of the brain, which leads to the desire to have that person close in order to continue experiencing rewarding sensations.

It is postulated that this second stage is longer than the previous one and generally lasts between one and a half and three years.

- Affection or attachment

After the second stage, the people develop a long-lasting affective bond that allows the continuity of the bond between both people. Attachment is modulated mainly by two main substances: oxytocin and vasopressin, which also affect the brain's pleasure circuit.

Its duration is indeterminate and is interpreted as an evolutionary factor of the human species.

Love from cognitive behavioral psychology

It is probably the most widespread psychological current today and, as its name suggests, it focuses on the study of two main factors: cognition (thinking) and behavior.

From this perspective, love creates an organic state of mind that grows or decreases depending on the feedback that the feeling receives.

Feedback can depend on multiple factors such as the behavior of the loved one, their involuntary attributes or the particular needs of the person they love (sexual desire, need for company, etc.).

The feeling of love is interpreted as a factor that depends on the feedback between three different factors: thought, behavior and the feeling of love itself.

For example, when someone presents a specific love need (company), if the person they love satisfies it, the individual will receive greater gratification through their behavior, a fact that will originate gratifying thoughts and strengthen the feeling of love.

Love from social psychology

In this current, the investigations carried out by Robert Stenberg, one of the most famous psychologists in history, stand out, who postulated the existence of three main components in his theory of love. These are:

- The intimacy

They make all those feelings that within a relationship promote closeness, trust, bond and connection between both individuals.

- Passion

It is the element most closely linked to the sexual components and refers to an intense desire for union with the other, as well as an expression of personal needs that he hopes the loved one will satisfy.

- Commitment

It is interpreted as an individual and shared commitment to love the other person and to maintain the feelings of love experienced.

As we can see, this model differs from the tripartite model discussed above by incorporating factors other than the sexual element.

These three components can be related to each other and form different forms of love such as: intimacy and passion, passion and commitment, intimacy and commitment, etc.

A feeling of intense and strong love is characterized by incorporating the three factors in a related way.

Love from psychoanalysis

From the psychoanalytic currents, love is an art and, as such, a voluntary action that is undertaken and learned. They differentiate the feeling of love from passion and the more instinctive sexual impulses.

As Erich Fromm postulates, love is a decision, a choice and a determined attitude that the individual adopts.

Likewise, from psychoanalysis love is related to learning.

The subjective feeling of love creates a feeling that can and should be learned in order to know its characteristics, be able to experience it, execute its behaviors, and benefit from the gratification it provides.

Love from humanistic psychology

Carl rogers

Finally, this current characterizes love from a more relational point of view, paying more attention to the bond between two people than to the process that an individual can carry out alone.

As Carl Rogers comments, love means being fully understood and deeply accepted by someone. On the other hand, according to Maslow, love implies a healthy and affectionate relationship between two people.

For many humanist authors, love does not exist without the presence of a relationship, a fact that motivates the appearance of another concept, the need for love.

The need for love is understood to be those factors that encourage people to be accepted and attached to the relationship. "The need for love implies giving and receiving it." Therefore, people create, detect and diffuse their feelings of love through an interpersonal relationship with another individual, and thus satisfy their need for love.

References

1. Kernberg, O. (1998) Love relationships. Normality and pathology. Buenos Aires: Paidos.
2. Millones, L., Pratt, M. (1989) Amor brujo. Image and culture of love in the Andes. Lima: Institute of Peruvian Studies.
3. Pinto, B., Alfaro, A., Guillen, N. (2010) El prende, casual romantic love. Research Notebooks, IICC. 1 (6) Behavioral Sciences Research Institute. Bolivian Catholic University San Pablo.
4. Pinto, B. (2011) Love and personality in the Aymara. La Paz: Divine Word.
5. Sternberg, R. (1998) The triangle of love. Barcelona: Paidos.