DISOBEDIENT CHILDREN: 10 TIPS TO IMPROVE BEHAVIOR - ECONOMÍA - 2025

There are many disobedient children who have desperate parents because they never obey them. Apart from the fact that there may be certain behavior problems, we must not forget that this is part of their growth, the construction of their identity and the search for their autonomy.

To do this, they test the norms and expectations of adults in order to know where the limits are and to what extent they are passable.

Sometimes, however, these conflicts are not limited to specific moments but rather become a pattern of behavior that generates a climate of discomfort in the family life and that, therefore, require greater attention and response from the parents. parents.

10 keys to dealing with disobedient children

Build positive behavior

If your child does a good behavior, let him know it by responding positively to that behavior that you intend to encourage.

A positive response can be a smile, a caress or a praise, but always specifying what is the positive behavior that has been carried out: “well done for leaving your plate on the pile!”; works better than "well done!"

Instead of repeatedly saying "enough" or "don't do that" look for its opposite in positive. For example, "don't leave toys on the floor" can become "put toys in the box." If he fulfills your request, do not forget to congratulate him.

It is important for him to see how happy you are when he does things right.

Create a game

When you are both calm, explain that you are going to play a game and that you will first practice with a first request "go to sleep please." If he obeys and goes to bed, congratulate him and give him a point for doing it the first time.

If he does not obey the first one, you can say: "I see that you are not ready to go to sleep yet, you cannot earn a point, but we will try again later." If he obeys then, congratulate him profusely but without giving him any points. He must get used to doing what you ask him the first time.

Show him the rewards he can earn by doing what he asks for right away and without complaining. The rewards can be anything and they don't always cost money. Maybe get an extra bedtime story or go to the park tomorrow.

Learn to ignore disobedient behavior

Children constantly seek the attention of their parents. They get this demand for attention many times through their negative behavior and if they see that they get it, they already have the weapon they needed.

When your child throws a tantrum or tantrum to get your attention, ignore that behavior as if it had nothing to do with you.

At first the tantrums and tantrums will be greater but when he sees that this behavior does not obtain the expected results, he will stop doing it immediately.

Sit down regularly to talk with your child

When things are calm and it is a good time, take some time to talk with your child, take an interest in his things, and explain that your role as a parent is very important to you.

Tell him that it is important for you to give him a good education, that he grows up with values ​​and principles of responsibility, productivity and generosity with others that bring him well-being and happiness.

Remind him of important family rules, norms, and values.

Your reaction is important

When you evidence any unpleasant behavior of your child, do not lose your role. Instead, take a few seconds to calm down and explain that you didn't like their behavior and that you will come back to it later.

In this way, you not only give yourself time to relax but also him to learn to do the same: calm down and reflect on his attitude, knowing that it carries consequences.

Stay calm and your child will calm down more quickly.

Time out

This is the form of punishment par excellence. If your child loses control leading to exaggerated behaviors, simply physically remove him from the scene; from the supermarket, the store or the park, and go home.

Do this by keeping calm and serenity at all times by showing that you control the situation. For this to work it is important that you stick with the decision until the end. Do not be convinced to return to the place, the decision has been made.

Consequences

If you find yourself in a situation where you cannot take time out or because you are simply at home, give the disobedient behavior a punishment that really annoys it.

A useful punishment for this may be to take away something you want. For example, take away the console until you finish homework or clean up your room. It is important that the consequences are clear, immediate and consistent. Once warned of the punishment, it must be carried out to the end.

Make sure there is respect within the family

Children are excellent imitators. If in the environment in which they live they see reactions of disrespect between the different members, they take this behavior as valid in the relationship with others.

If so, try to reestablish the norms in family life by nurturing mutual respect; your child will also change the way they relate.

Do not forget the key number 1

Don't forget to build their positive behavior. This is the most important key of all. It is the one that builds a positive relationship, of mutual appreciation and respect.

When to seek professional help?

If you have already applied all these guidelines with persistence and your child continues to show a challenging behavior pattern, it will be necessary to analyze more deeply what is happening.

It may be that the continuously disobedient behavior comes from a bad relationship between their parents, family conflicts at home, bullying at school, etc.

In either case, it should be treated by a professional as soon as possible.