THE 7 MOST COMMON SELF-ESTEEM PROBLEMS - ARTE - 2024

There are several common self-esteem problems that affect children, adolescents, women, and men. Self-esteem is one of the personal traits that most influence well-being and success in all areas of life: work, family and as a couple.

If you are the one who suffers them, you can solve them, and if it is a family member, child or friend, you can help them overcome them. Self-esteem is not something fixed, it is dynamic and can be changed by following a series of actions.

Self-esteem is formed from early childhood, so it is important that parents promote it in their children. If you are an adult and have low self-esteem, don't worry because you can build it. You just need to know how and some effort.

Common self-esteem issues

1-Compare

If you have low self-esteem you will compare yourself often and that is not good.

• In the first place, because there will always be people who are better than you
• Second, because we often compare ourselves to the wrong people. Comparisons are usually based on the people around us.

For example, you compare yourself to your co-worker, who is nothing to write home about; she has not achieved anything of the other world and has no special abilities

However, just for getting over it, you consider yourself better or feel proud.

How to solve this?

With a change of perspective: from comparing to admiring.

For example, I can admire Rafael Nadal, Bill Gates or Malala Yousafzai.

It would be absurd to compare myself to them or be envious. If I admire them, I automatically imitate their behaviors or values.

People usually have the same way of thinking or behaving as the people they admire, even if they do not have the same results.

I learn from their values ​​or behaviors, although I don't have a negative feeling when looking at them or knowing what they do.

I can also admire people around me.

Comparing yourself often leads to unhealthy envy and admiring often leads to imitating healthy behaviors.

When you see someone criticize someone who is successful, stand out and admire that person who is successful - whether in family life, as a couple or at work.

2-Wanting the approval of others / wanting to please

If you constantly seek to please others or seek approval, you will be destroying your self-esteem.

You cannot please everyone, there will always be someone who you dislike or who is against your opinions.

Therefore, forget about liking yourself. In fact, I encourage you to try looking for disapproval:

• Act as you really are, without thinking if you will be approved or not (always respecting)
• Say your opinions without fear of whether they will please or not (when they are not hurtful or personally attacking)
• Show yourself against other people's opinions assertively

If you have to criticize, do it constructively. The key is to criticize the task, not the person.

This is what is called constructive and task-based criticism.

For example, if you have to criticize a colleague's work, do so by referring to what you think they have done wrong about the job. Not his person.

Wrong:

-Antonio, you always do it wrong, you are a very bad worker.

Well:

-Antonio, I think the report would be better if it is longer and has corrected the mistakes of grammar.

If you look at this last statement, the criticism is exact (it says what you want corrected) and is not directed at personal traits.

3-Seek your happiness in others

This is a problem that I see in a high% of people.

They are happy and feel valuable when they are with their partners or have a partner.

However, if they do not have a partner or their partner does not value them, they do not value themselves.

What happens is that if couples treat them badly, leave them or have arguments, self-esteem goes down by leaps and bounds.

It is important that you value yourself positively, simply because you are a person, not because you are with someone.

That way, if the relationship goes bad or breaks, your self-esteem will not be destroyed.

In addition, if the two people have a healthy self-esteem - whether it is independent of having a relationship or not - the relationship will work much better and there will not be so many relationship problems.

4-Believe that one is not worth enough

This is probably the most common and is inherent to self-esteem.

Self-esteem is an attitude of valuing oneself; If you do it positively you will have a high and if you do it negatively you will have a low.

The fact is that the healthiest thing is that you value yourself for the simple fact of being a person.

It does not matter what is good for you or what is bad for you, if you have one physique or another.

When you value yourself, you will be able to better value others and choose which relationships are the ones that bring something positive to your life.

5-Believe that you cannot achieve the goals you want

This problem is also inherent in having low self-esteem.

If you have low self-esteem, you tend to believe that you cannot get what you want, whatever the goal.

It even affects when someone wants to achieve very simple things.

How to solve it?

• Remember the things you have achieved in the past
• Accept the possibility of failure and view failure as an opportunity to learn
• Learn new things that build your belief that you have the ability to achieve things

6-blame yourself

The most unpleasant feeling of guilt you can have.

Although it does not always have to be accompanied by a lack of self-esteem, it does happen often.

In reality, it is a way of maintaining public, family and relational order.

The problem is when it is pathological: it occurs in excess, paralyzes, causes depression or low self-esteem.

In short:

• Apologize: Sometimes a sincere apology can be really liberating.
• Reattribution technique: examine the situations that led to guilt and logically attribute responsibility to each person.
• Accept that it is possible to be wrong
• Assess the true consequences of your behavior

7-Worrying too much about the future

Normally, if you have high self-esteem, you think that you have the ability to solve problems that arise.

And if you have a loss, you think that you will have problems to overcome them or that it will go badly.

It is a trend of thought that can be changed.

In fact, I used to worry too much.

How do I solve it ?:

• Focusing on the present with mindfulness
• Focusing on solutions
• Accepting that problems will always arise and that the only thing you can do is try to solve them

8-Be afraid of the unknown

As long as you are human and you live in this world, you can never have security. And if it were, it would be very boring. Safe eliminates excitement and excitement.

The security that is positive for your personal growth is the inner security of having confidence in yourself.

If you believe in yourself, you can explore the areas of life that offer you nothing safe and avoid following the path that everyone else walks.

In fact, if you want to stand out in something you will have to take risks, it is impossible to stand out or achieve difficult goals if you do not experience some insecurity.

On the other hand, safety is a somewhat unreal concept, because wherever you are and whatever you do, you will always have some danger:

• If you stay at home there may also be accidents
• If you are in a bad job because you have "security" you can also be fired
• If you only travel through your country for safety, accidents can also happen

It is not to alarm;), but that is the idea: The insecure and unknown can cause us insecurities but they are necessary to change, improve and experience new emotions.

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And what other self-esteem problems do you have? Tell me to add them to the article. Thank you!