Here are the best quotes from Fritz Perls (1893-1970), a neuropsychiatrist who, disenchanted by the passive and interpretive nature of conventional psychoanalysis, tried to incorporate aspects of theater, drama, humanism and Eastern philosophy into psychotherapy.
Together with his wife, Laura Posner, he developed and popularized Gestalt therapy. This therapy goes beyond a simple theory of the psyche. It is a philosophy of life in which the presence, awareness and responsibility of each individual is essential.
Perls was highly critical of orthodox psychoanalytic doctrine and emphasized self-responsibility and the weight of personal choices in Gestalt. He popularized the use of experimentation as a method to reach a viable solution.
His legacy can be synthesized through his most famous phrases, which are a reflection of his attitude towards life and which can inspire many people in their daily lives. These psychology phrases may also interest you.
-I only have one goal: to impart a fraction of the meaning of the word now.
-There are two big lies: "I want" and "I try."
-Fear of death means fear of life.
-The person in greater control is the one who knows how to lose it.
-The need for revenge grows and settles until you become one with it.
-We must become people capable of realizing the obvious.
-A neurotic person is one who is unable to see what is obvious.
-Pride and ego are two foreign bodies coexisting within us.
-As soon as you take something out of context, it loses its meaning. It loses its value.
-I can't understand how someone can be scared and smile at the same time.
-Getsalt therapy is about turning paper people into real people.
-Mature means taking responsibility for your life, being alone.
-Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who bother do not matter and those who matter will not bother.
-Anxiety is excitement without breathing.
-I wonder why people use only the walls to hang pictures.
-The idea of therapy is to bring the empty man of our era back to life.
-If love and hate live together, then one gets confused.
- Anguish is the gap between now and later.
- Anguish is always the result of moving away from now.
-It is very rare that people can speak and listen. Very few listen without speaking. Most can speak without listening.
-Learning is nothing more than discovering that something is possible. Teaching is showing someone that something is possible.
-Each time you refuse to answer a question, you help the other person to use their own resources.
-Our dependence makes us slaves of ourselves, especially if that dependence is on our self-esteem.
-The crazy person says: "I am Abraham Lincoln", the neurotic: "I wish I were like Abraham Lincoln", and the healthy person: "I am I, and you are you."
-If you need everyone's encouragement, praise and pat on the back, then you are making everyone your judge.
-You cannot achieve happiness. Happiness happens and it is a transitory stage.
-Happiness is a matter of realizing. Or is it that you are becoming Freudian by saying: I am unconsciously happy.
-Being in the world with its ups and downs, alone or accompanied, is part of the same thing: existing in the here and now.
-A truly whole person has to have a good orientation and also ability to act.
-If one feels pursued by an ogre and becomes the ogre, the nightmare disappears.
- Friend, don't be a perfectionist. Perfectionism is a curse and an effort. It is perfect if you let yourself be and be.
-The demands of perfection limit the individual's ability to act within himself.
-The only difference between a wise man and a fool is that the wise man knows that he is acting.
-You only have to assimilate part of the projection of your fears, then you will realize that everything is a fantasy.
-Considering dreams and their existence a message, instead of a residue of unfinished situations, we will be free.
-A dream is a fragmentation of our personality.
-The idea of starting therapy is to change false people into real people.
-You don't have to be on the couch for years, decades or centuries to heal yourself.
-Before society was ruled by Judaism, Puritanism; you did things whether you liked it or not. Those times have changed.
-We have become a society that abhors pain and suffering. Anything that is not fun or enjoyable should be avoided.
-In previous generations we asked ourselves "why?" We believed that if we could find the causes, we could change the effect.
-In the electronic age, the question is no longer "Why?" we ask "How?" we investigate the structure and if we understand the structure, we can change the conclusion.
-The structure in which the human being is most interested is in the structure of his own existence: Karma, Faith "Are we alone in the Universe?"
-Most are not aware that currently, here and now, you are writing the history of your life and of humanity.
-I've just met them, I must admit: I have a very bad memory for names.
-The five components that I use to carry out my work are: the armchair, the empty chair, tissues, my cigarettes, the camera; and I'm ready.
-The moment you leave your comfort zone and jump into the future, you will always experience anxiety; or at best, fear.
-If we do not accept and assimilate what the world offers us, then we will not be able to do our part in it and what I call introjection will occur.
-Once people understand their place in society on an economic, sentimental and intellectual level; her need for therapy begins to recede.
-When we understand that the demons that possess us are nothing but projections of ourselves, the demons disappear on their own.
-Learning means more than absorbing knowledge; you can grow, you can develop your potential the moment you realize that it is possible.
-We are using most of our energies in self-destructive games. Saying that they are preventive games for the children of today who will be the men of tomorrow.
-The psychoanalysis fosters the infantile state considering that the past is responsible for the disease.
-No one can bear the truth if it is told to him. The truth can only be tolerated if you discover it yourself because then, the pride of the discovery makes the truth palpable.
-Thousands of plastic flowers do not bloom in the desert. A thousand empty faces do not fill an empty room.
-It feels much nobler to feel guilty than resentful, and it takes more courage to express resentment than guilt. Expressing guilt hopes to pacify the opponent; With resentment you could stir up hostility in him.
-When we are scared, most of us have a tendency to try to get rid of the feeling. We believe that we can undo by denying or ignoring it, and we often hold our breath as a physical tool of denial.
-All emotions are expressed in the muscular system. Anger cannot be visualized without muscle movement. You cannot visualize the joy, which is more or less identical to dancing, without muscular movements. In grief there are sobs and crying, and there are also in sex.
-Sickness, pretending to be sick, which constitutes a large part of going crazy, is nothing more than a search for environmental support. We are sick in bed: someone takes care of us, feeds us, gives us shelter, we don't have to go out to earn a living, it is total regression.
-If you refuse to remember your dreams, you really refuse to face your own existence; to face what is wrong with your existence. One avoids struggling with unpleasant matters.
-The pain serves to wake up… it is something you must carry, like a radio. You will be able to feel your strength by experiencing pain. It is up to you, how you carry it.
-Some people are true collectors of regrets. They do nothing more in their lives than gather misfortunes that they never let go of. You can imagine how little vitality they have left to live.
-Panic is nothing more than a part of yourself or a part of someone else that you carry within yourself and with which you have not finished solving a pending issue.
-To try is to lie. I'll try means you don't have a serious intention of doing it. If you really intend to do it, say, "I will"; If not, say, "I won't." You have to speak clearly to think clearly and act clearly.
-Each time you use the words now and how and you realize it, then you grow. Every time you ask the question why, you decrease in height. You screw yourself with false and unnecessary information.
-Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are a good person is the same as hoping that a bull does not attack you because you are a vegetarian.
-If you feel uncomfortable with someone, you can be sure that there is no real communication. As soon as you genuinely express yourself, all discomfort disappears.
-Things don't exist; each event is a process; the thing is merely a transitory form of an eternal process. Everything is constantly flowing. We never bathe twice in the same river.
- Guilt feels much nobler than resentment and it takes much more courage to express resentment than guilt. By expressing guilt you hope to pacify your opponent; With resentment you can arouse their hostility.
-I do my thing and you do yours. I am not in this world to fulfill your expectations and you are not in this world to fulfill mine. You are you and I am me and if by chance we meet, it's beautiful. If not, there's nothing left to do.