Here are the best quotes from Deadpool, the Marvel Comics antihero created by artist Rob Liefeld and writer Fabian Nicieza. Two films have also been released in 2016 and 2018.
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Source: flickr.com/photos/bagogames/24415034224
1- I feel a little lonely being here locked up.
2- Hello! My name is Pool of Death.
3- My name is Pool. Dead Pool.
4- Love is a beautiful thing, when you find it the whole world tastes like fragrant flowers. That is why you must hold on to love strong! And never let go.Don't make the same mistakes as me! Okay? Otherwise the world will know you as my Aunt Yoon after coming out of a Hot Yoga session.
5- Like two homeless people having sex in a wet shoe.
6- The red suit? It is because it is Christmas and I am going for someone who has behaved very badly. I've been waiting 1 year 3 months 4 weeks and 14 minutes to make him pay for what he did to me.
7- Do you wonder why the red suit? Ah! It's so the bad guys don't see me bleed. That guy knows what I'm talking about, he has brown pants.
8- Shit! Forget my bag full of bullets. Fuck it… 9, 10, 11, 12 bullets or die trying.
9- I don't carry my wallet when I work, it ruins the appearance of my suit.
10- Oh! Hi. I know, who did I have to kiss on the butt to finally get my own movie? Well, I can't tell you; but it rhymes with Polverine. And let me tell you, you have a beautiful pair of meatballs hanging in your southern hemisphere.
11- Oh! Bad boys to kill.
12- I had never said this but… don't buy it.
13- Shit! Cone! Fuck!… Bad Deadpool, bad.
14- Oooooh! Tonight I masturbate…
15- Yes, I am super. But I am no hero.
16- Some of the best love stories begin with a homicide.
17- You must stop using so many ornaments, they are called pants not catwalk.
18- Threats hurt, but not as much as a serrated knife.
19- No, I will never be a hero. I'm just a bad guy who gets paid to beat up worse guys. Something like a depraved tooth fairy. I take care of knocking the teeth out and I take the money.
20- I'm not fighting, I'm just a troublemaker.
21- What does a place like this do in a girl like you?
22- I once saw my birthday party locked up from my closet.
23- When I was little I didn't even sleep, everything was gags, sex from behind and clown porn.
24- It's time to put the balls in the hole.
25- If your left leg is Thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas, can I visit you between parties?
26- The point is this: Life is a series of endless disasters with only small commercials of happiness.
27- If I were a stupid 90-kilo monster named Francis, where would I hide?
28- And that is the reason why Vagina rhymes with fun!
29- I'm going to do to you what Limp Bizkit did to music in the 90s.
30- God… if I had a penny for every time I masturbated thinking about Bernadett Peters.
31- Cancer is a shit show, as if a fifth grade comedian opened a presentation of the Spin Doctors at the Iowa state festival. And under no circumstances am I going to take you to that show. I want you to remind me of me.
32- I had a nightmare with Liam Neeson where he tried to kidnap his daughter and he would not let me. They made three of those movies, he asked me if the guy is really a good father.
33- The worst part of cancer is not what it does to you but what it does to the people you love.
34- Pros of being a superhero: You have a lot of girls, discounts to wash the car, lucrative movie contracts, pre-movies and movies with other superheroes
35- Cons of being a superhero: They are all idiots trained to respect the law.
36- Negasonic Teenage Warhead LOL! The coolest name you've ever heard
37- “Look at me, I'm a teenage girl, I'd rather be anywhere else except here. My thing is long moody silences, followed by a cruel comment, followed by more moody silence "
38- The day I decide to become a deranged benefactor who lives with another bunch of deranged benefactors in the mansion of a bald, sinister and fanatic son of a bitch that day! I will send you a friend request to your FaceBook.
39- My off switch is right next to my prostate or was that the on?
40- When life turns out to be fucking horrible, you can usually trace the cause back to that hugely bad decision. The one that put you on your way to doom.
41- I want to light a joint with the Olympic torch and force Meredith Baxter to smell my farts.
42- How rude can a man named Francis be?
43- I am not only the cure for cancer, I am the cure for everything.
44- I'm going to chase that bastard, force him to remedy the damage he did to me, put a bullet in his head and then have sex with the hole.
45- Where is Francis? WHERE IS FRANCIS ?!
46- Captain DeadPool. No, just DeadPool.
47- It made me ask you twice, does the mask make my voice not heard well?
48- This is too confusing! Is it sexist if I hit you? Is it more sexist if I don't hit you? It's all very blurry.
49- Hahahahaha you are about to be run over by a Zamboni Tell me where is your damn boss or you are going to die! In five minutes.
50- Before there were 41 confirmed murders. Now I'm 89, about to be 90.
51- Hydrogen peroxide and lemon to remove blood stains.
52- There are some types of anger that cannot be managed, like the one you feel when your whole year plan ends with the mutilation of the wrong person!
53- There is no better place like home to lick your wounds.
54- Oh! A fourth dimensional wall breaking into a fourth dimensional breaking, that's like… 16 broken walls.
55- She is the Robin of my Batman, except that she is old… and black… and blind. And I think he wants to have sex with me. Although I think Robin also wanted to fuck Batman or was it the other way around?
56- Crocs? You mean my soft shoes to masturbate.
57- Today was a day as fun as using a sandpaper dildo Hashtag # MeTiréunPedo
58- Appearance is everything, have you heard of David Beckham? It's like he used helium to inflate his muscles. Do you think Ryan Reynolds got where he is because of his superior acting techniques?
59- Every time I see you, it's as if it were the first time. Especially from this angle.
60- If I don't see you again, I want you to know that I love you very much. And I also want you to know that there are 116 Kilograms of cocaine buried somewhere in the apartment, along with the cure for blindness. Good luck.
61- Ha Ha Ha fake laugh to hide the pain!
62- I'm DeadPool and I have an offer for you that you won't be able to refuse.
63- It's weird only seeing you, it's as if the studio didn't have enough money to pay the rights and show the other X-Men.
64- And that's why, in my humble opinion, the Cocoon movie is pure pornography!
65- That was not what I told you, I never said that you would recover Gita's love by kidnapping Bandhu (I'm so proud of you) return Bandhu safe and sound (kill him) and then recover Gita in the old way: with your charm juvenile (speed it up too).
66- Alright friends, it's time to make a difference! Time to make the damn chimichangas.
67- Not always a subject disfigures your face, destroys your sanity, kidnaps the future mother of your children and is responsible for 4 of the worst 5 memories of your life. It sounds like Christmas.
68- Let's do it the old way: With two katanas and maximum effort.
69- OMG! Superhero Landing Superhero Landing! Wait and see. Superhero landing style, lousy on the knees, not practical at all. Besides, they all do.
70- You are beautiful but I am saving myself for Francis.
71- I really pity the one who pressures you to have sex at the prom.
72- Ok, I'm going to give you the opportunity to drop your weapons in exchange for preferential treatment, almost gentle and possibly loving.
73- Command!
74- How are your children, okay? And your wife still makes that tuna pie that was so delicious?
75- Damn son of a bitch you should have brought your brown pants.
76- I hope you have blocked all sensitivity to pain in your nerves, because I am about to check them!
77- Fists? Sounds like what you like to do on Saturday nights.
78- Don't worry, I have everything under control.
79- Maximum Effort!
80- I can't believe it, that was absolutely GREAT!
81- Are you saying that after everything that has happened you can't fix me? What can't you do the one thing that keeps you alive?
82- Who cares?
83- If I'm going to keep my pizza for pepperoni, at least the idiot who made it for me will not recover from a shot in the head.
84- If wearing superhero tights means sparing psychopaths then maybe I'm not cut out to be a superhero.
85- I'm just a boy, standing in front of a girl, telling her that… wait what the hell am I saying?
86- I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for leaving, I'm sorry I didn't say anything when I left, and I was sorry I didn't come back before.
87- I live in a house of drug addicts, we are a family of twelve, we all sleep tight to warm up and we all fight for Noelle; she is the fattest of all. We have nothing, we share everything, the floor space, the dental floss… even the condoms.
88- The guy under this mask is no longer the same as you remember. I'm not the same under this suit if you know what I mean (Super Penis)
89- OMG! What did you just say? That was not cruel at all, I'm proud of you!
90- For a moment I felt that we were like three mini robots working together and coming together to form a single great mega robot.
91- Wham! Just like I promised.
92- I swear to God that I will meet you in the next life and I will put “Careless Whisper” by Wham! On my cassette player under your window.
93- You don't have to be a superhero to stay with the girl. The right girl will make the hero in you blossom.
94- Who doesn't like happy endings? Until next time, this is your good neighbor Mr. Pool.
95- Are they still here? Was over. Go home. Or are they hoping for a trailer for the next movie? No, we don't have that much money. What did you expect, Samuel L. Jackson to show up with an eye patch and a sexy leather suit? Go away.
96- Do not leave the garbage watered please, that is shitty behavior.
97- I will cut you into pieces and then I will disappear like a ghost all in my sexy ladybug pajamas.
98- Damn Skypie where are my manners? My name is Deadpool. Rhymes with "very cool"
99- That's right, you're about to die BANG! I was just kidding. Ha, it was a lie!
100- Since I can remember, I have always been a fighter. Do not question greatness! I was born a normal baby, but it was only for 30 seconds, then some ninjas kidnapped my mom.
101- Forget SHIELD Forget The Rules! Join the anarchy.
102- Shoot him in the butt with one of these! They shot me there once.
103- I'm the one who runs the show now And this is just the tip of the Iceberg!
104- Hey what are you doing !? Again closely following every move I make? I haven't even killed anyone yet.
105- Stan Lee, HELLO! Hey, they say you want to make a game about me, I'm calling you to give you some directions.