HOW TO OVERCOME LONELINESS IN 9 STEPS (AND FEEL HAPPY) - ARTE - 2024

The feeling of loneliness, feeling alone, appears as a feeling of isolation or helplessness that invades a person beyond whether or not they are really alone. In this article I will explain how to overcome loneliness, feel good about yourself, and have a feeling of happiness again.

Learning to cope with loneliness and cope with it is important, as spending time alone is something that most people experience at some point in their lives. There are different kinds of loneliness and the sensations they cause can also be diverse and of different intensities.

It is important to note that being alone is not the same as feeling alone. Some people can be alone without having negative feelings about it. Loneliness involves being alone (or not) and feeling sad or depressed about it.

Some people feel lonely due to a separation or the death of a loved one, due to lack of recreational activities that allow them to have more social contact, or for other reasons.

Tips for dealing with loneliness

1-Acknowledge your feelings and express them

The first step in coping with the feeling of loneliness is to acknowledge and accept this feeling.

For some people it may be difficult to admit it, although it is necessary to express yourself to free yourself emotionally and there are several options to do so:

• You can just keep a journal about how you feel
• Write an imaginary letter to a friend
• Express yourself through a drawing or painting
• Writing a song or simply telling someone what happens to you, it can be a family member or a close friend.

Expressing your loneliness can help you discover other related feelings or the cause of them. And when you realize what the cause of your loneliness is, you can make the necessary changes to get out of it.

2-Avoid closing in on yourself

When you have a strong sense of loneliness, it is best to seek social support, either from people you know or from new friends.

The fear of rejection is often what can stop you from making new friends or loving relationships.

You must put that fear aside, consider that there is nothing to lose and much that you can gain by removing the loneliness that makes you feel so bad.

3-Take a more active attitude

Loneliness is a passive state. That is, you will continue to feel lonely or lonely if you don't do anything about it.

Many people wait for this feeling to magically disappear at some point, but without changing their attitude, loneliness will completely clutch them.

What's more, some people embrace loneliness and don't let it go. Incorporating loneliness as your own and immersing yourself in the feelings it provokes leads to a feeling of depression and helplessness that only leads to an even more passive and depressed attitude.

So, one of the first steps to take is to have a more active attitude to combat loneliness. If you are missing a family member, give them a call, write or visit them.

If you feel lonely for someone who has died, expressing the pain you feel for the loss and remembering the happy moments you shared together, knowing that those memories will always accompany you, can drive away feelings of loneliness.

4-Do recreational activities

Take a dance class, singing or literary workshop, or any other activity that you like. Join a travel club, a group of collectors or people who play a sport that you like.

Doing a recreational activity has many benefits:

• First of all, take your mind off the feelings of loneliness
• You will be doing an activity that you enjoy.
• Your mood will improve
• Sport or physical activity has other benefits: controlling weight, reducing the risk of cardiovascular diseases, strengthening bones and muscles, reducing the risk of some cancers…
• You will meet new people who share your same interests.

Doing something you like can give your life a lot of meaning, taking away the feeling of loneliness.

Feelings of well-being can come on quickly in some cases, but in other people, feeling better takes longer. You just have to persevere.

5-Do not miss the meetings to which they invite you

You may have to force yourself to do it at first, but be sure to attend all the meetings to which you are invited. They are opportunities to live new experiences, meet new people and not feel alone.

You can also take the initiative and organize a meeting or outing yourself.

You may not feel completely comfortable the first few times, but you have to persevere. In time, you will see the results.

You do not have to be the most popular from the first meeting, but it is important that you go to any type of social activity to build your new life.

Be curious, not expecting perfection or applause. Every time you meet people it will be like a little social experiment or adventure in which, if you are curious about others, you will receive attention in return.

To get out of loneliness quickly, it is best to let curiosity take you away from painful feelings and allow you to get closer to all kinds of people.

6-Being kind is an important key

Kindness can go a long way. No one is instinctively kind to strange or scary people, although it is a choice that you can make.

Be kind and generous of spirit to everyone, because it is a long-term winning bet. Being aggressive or stingy with people you don't know can build a negative reputation.

What you should do is the opposite: have a good attitude in front of others, because in this way you can win new friends and defeat the loneliness that overwhelms you.

7-Use social networks (moderately)

Certain studies show that the mere fact of using a computer, a mobile or a tablet to go online and contact other people on social networks or simply to search for information as entertainment, can help reduce the feeling of loneliness.

Although this effect has been studied mainly in elderly people with a certain degree of education, the fact of using different social networks can help you feel less alone or alone, whatever your age.

Think that there are thousands of people who feel the same as you and who hope to find someone to chat even through the internet, to ward off negative feelings.

Of course, when meeting people through the internet you should take certain precautions and not provide personal data or important information such as bank account data or credit cards.

But by being careful, by browsing online you can find support and understanding and even make lasting friendships.

8-Become a volunteer

Volunteer work can have the same effect as any other recreational activity. It also implies meeting other people, being part of a group, living new experiences and also provides the benefit of altruism.

Volunteering can give a new meaning to your life, it can bring new satisfactions and make you feel happy.

Also, helping others and doing things for others activates the mind and heart, as well as being in company. Focusing on the feelings and needs of others will help you stop thinking about your loneliness and hopelessness.

9-Get a pet

Pets do not comment, do not criticize and provide unconditional company, especially dogs and cats.

A study carried out at a nursing home in St Louis showed that residents felt less lonely spending time with a dog, compared to visiting from a dog and other residents.

Imagine this situation. You have not had a good day, you are in a bad mood, about to unload with the first person who crosses your path. But when you get home, your dog barks and wags its tail, happy for your arrival, trying to get your attention. Then you smile and pamper him.

Your mood has changed and you no longer feel so alone. And if you pick up a dog from the street, then you will be getting two benefits: altruism and companionship, two powerful factors to combat loneliness.

In addition, having a pet can also help you meet other people: when you take the dog for a walk you can meet other people doing the same, for example.

10-Cognitive behavioral therapy

Research shows that loneliness and depression can work synergistically and cause a deep sense of discomfort.

It's like a vicious cycle: you feel lonely, you get depressed, and then you feel lonelier and more depressed.

Furthermore, many people in this situation continue to feel lonely despite being surrounded by people.

In these cases, simply doing activities and meeting other people is not enough and other measures are necessary, such as cognitive-behavioral psychological therapy.

This therapy is aimed at changing the habits in the thoughts and attitudes of people who feel alone in order to reverse their situation.

The feeling of loneliness can be a momentary situation and can even give you a space for reflection and to get to know yourself better, but remember: it is you who must find the way to move away from loneliness.

And if you can't fight it yourself, seeking professional help is always a good idea.