- Characteristics of the person with average self-esteem
- How is average self-esteem formed?
- Consequences
- References
The average self - esteem is one of the three main types of levels of self - esteem that exist, the other two being high and low. People with this characteristic have many of the traits of people with high self-esteem, but they also feel insecure at times depending on their context and what happens to them.
According to some studies, the majority of the population has average self-esteem. However, despite being the most common type, it is not the healthiest: it is characterized by great instability and by presenting certain risks that accompany the benefits present when the person feels confident.
One of the biggest risks of average self-esteem is that it tends to turn into low self-esteem if conscious effort is not made. Therefore, the main objective of a person with this type of self-perception should be to increase their self-esteem as much as possible until they reach the highest ranks.
Characteristics of the person with average self-esteem
The main characteristic of a person who presents average levels of self-esteem is his fluctuation between the characteristics of the people who have it high and those who have it low.
Therefore, depending on the state in which they are at a certain moment, these people can drastically change the way they think, feel and behave.
At times when they have a higher self-concept, people with average self-esteem:
- They trust their own criteria and have a series of values and principles that they are willing to defend. Still, they are capable of changing them if the evidence tells them they should.
- They are able to act according to what they think is the best choice, even when others tell them that they are making a mistake.
- They tend not to worry too much about what they did in the past or what will happen in the future, but they learn from both in order to improve little by little.
- They trust their ability to solve problems, even after making a mistake a few times. Still, they are also capable of asking for help when they need it.
- They consider themselves as valid as the rest, and they think they are interesting people and that they contribute something to others.
- They avoid being manipulated and only collaborate with someone if it seems appropriate or contributes to them.
- They are able to enjoy a great variety of aspects of life.
- They are empathic with others, and try to help them; therefore, they do not like to hurt others.
However, unlike people with truly high self-esteem, those with average self-esteem have a defensive style. This means that when something or someone threatens their vision of themselves, they take it as a personal attack and may react in a hostile way.
On the other hand, at times when they are in the lowest range of their level of self-esteem, this type of person may present the following characteristics:
- High levels of self-criticism and self-discontent.
- Exaggerated reactions to criticism and constant feeling of being attacked.
- Difficulty making decisions and a great fear of making a mistake.
- A great desire to please others, even if it is a problem for them.
- Excessive rumination on the mistakes made in the past, in such a way that they feel burdened with guilt.
- Perfectionism, and frustration when they are not able to reach their own standards.
- Vision of life pessimistic and full of negativity.
- Envy towards people who apparently enjoy a better life than them.
- The belief that the current negative conditions will be maintained over time.
How is average self-esteem formed?
Self-esteem develops throughout a person's life, who is influenced by a large number of factors. It was formerly believed that self-perception was formed in childhood and adolescence, but in recent decades it has been discovered that an adult can influence and improve their own self-esteem.
In general, self-esteem is made up of a series of beliefs about oneself: how we should be, how we think we really are and how others see us. In the case of a person with average self-esteem, some of these beliefs will be positive and others negative, each of these being activated at certain times.
The six main areas on which we base our self-esteem are:
- Our inherited traits, such as intelligence, physique or our talents.
- Our belief about whether we deserve to be loved or whether others like us.
- To think that we are worthy people and worthy of respect.
- The feeling of control over our own life.
- What has been achieved throughout life: achievements, material possessions or skills.
- Congruence with one's own moral values.
When a person feels secure in some of these areas but not in others, they usually develop average self-esteem. This can occur due to bad past experiences, irrational negative beliefs about yourself, or an excessive focus on external validation rather than your own.
Consequences
A person with average self-esteem will not have as many problems throughout his life as someone with a low self-concept, but he will still suffer some significant difficulties.
The main problem with having average self-esteem is that, depending on the circumstances, the person can stop trusting themselves and, therefore, develop feelings of sadness, helplessness or apathy.
This will make it much more difficult for you to make decisions and act to get what you want, which will further reinforce the negative aspects of your self-esteem.
Therefore, in general, average self-esteem tends to degenerate into low self-esteem if one does not act consciously to improve it. A person who presents this type of vision of herself must work on her beliefs, attitudes and actions to be able to stay in the range of a healthy and stable self-esteem.
References
- "The 3 types of self-esteem and their characteristics" in: Positivalia. Retrieved on: March 26, 2018 from Positivalia: positivalia.com.
- "Average self-esteem: virtue is not always in the middle" in: Diario Femenino. Retrieved on: March 26, 2018 from Diario Femenino: diariofemenino.com.
- "Self - Esteem" in: Wikipedia. Retrieved on: March 26, 2018 from Wikipedia: en.wikipedia.org.
- "How is my self-esteem formed?" in: Psychoadapt. Retrieved on: March 26, 2018 from Psicoadapta: psicoadapta.es.
- "How Self - Esteem Develops" in: Healthy Self - Esteem. Retrieved on: March 26, 2018 from Healthy Self - Esteem: healthyselfesteem.org.