11 SYMPTOMS OF FALLING IN LOVE ARE YOU IN LOVE? - PSYCHOLOGY - 2024

The main symptoms of falling in love are constantly thinking about the other person, idealizing them, emotional and physical instability, becoming obsessed, fantasizing about plans, spending a lot of time with the other person and others that I will explain below.

Tell you before starting to name them that they do not have to be fulfilled all, and that luckily people are very different, so each one can live falling in love in a different way.

The symptoms exposed in this article should be understood in a general way, and without the premise of thinking that if they do not appear or the infatuation is not lived as described here, it is not really in love.

In fact, the concept of a couple can have different connotations depending on the culture; so the article is presented in such a way that the symptoms or signs that appear should be taken as something that normally happens, but without forgetting that there can always be exceptions.

When we fall in love, our body experiences a series of physical and psychological changes that make us feel differently than when we do not have a partner or are not looking for one.

Normally, the feeling that is experienced when one is in love is classified as pleasant, although normally falling in love is also associated with the feeling of madness. Understanding madness as a non-daily altered state at a psychic level and not with a negative connotation.

And it is that humans are social beings and we like to be in the company of other people. Each interpersonal relationship that we develop will be based on types of behavior appropriate to the roles we play, whether as part of the family, in a group of friends or with our partner.

In the case of romantic love, or falling in love, we could consider it as a kind of drug for the brain and the organism. It is a sensation that causes well-being, and although it alters us in our daily lives, we still like it.

In fact, when people who are in love are shown pictures of their loved ones, the same regions are activated in the brain as when a drug addict consumes a dose of substance to which he is addicted.

Symptoms that may indicate that you are in love

Helen Fisher, an anthropologist at Rutgers University and an expert in the biology of love, has determined that during the infatuation phase that humans experience, the brain goes through a process that is considered unique, since these changes are not experienced in others life moments.

Falling in love is considered an intense stage, which takes the person out of the normal state and with a limited time. You cannot be in love forever.

According to Fisher there are 11 signs that tell us that we are in love with that special person.

1- The person we fell in love with is unique and special

When we fall in love, we have the idea that the person for whom we feel "butterflies" in our stomach is unique. We think that in the world there is no one better than him or her.

In addition, this belief is accompanied by the inability to apply the same reasoning for another person and even if we wanted to, we cannot feel the romantic passion for two people at the same time.

This feeling of thinking of the other as someone unique in the world and believing that there is no one more special has to do, according to Fisher, with the high levels of dopamine at the brain level that are experienced in this process.

2- The person is idealized and we think they are perfect

When we fall in love with someone it is extremely difficult, if not impossible, to find something in her that we do not like. And even if we find a defect in that person, we will not experience it as unpleasant but we can even give it a positive connotation.

This is commonly known as idealization, or more colloquially as "putting someone on a pedestal."

When we fall in love, our brain pays almost all its attention to those qualities that we consider positive in the other. In addition, we also focus on unimportant objects or events that are related to the person with whom we fall in love.

This idealization is also related to dopamine, although in this case norepinephrine also comes into play, which has to do with increasing memory to store new stimuli and memories.

3- People who fall in love go through a stage of emotional and physical instability

Falling in love, as I mentioned at the beginning of the article, usually leads to emotional and physiological instability. When we fall in love the changes we can experience are:

• Intense feeling of joy and happiness.
• Increased energy.
• Feeling of euphoria and of being capable of everything.
• Loss of the normal biological rhythm of sleep and even insomnia.
• Loss of appetite
• General tremor.
• Incrise of cardiac frecuency.
• Hyperventilation or breathing at a high rate.
• Anxiety and despair at the slightest problem in reference to the relationship.

These are just some of the changes that can be experienced, if read objectively it may seem that instead of being in love, one suffers from some disease.

But it is normal for those symptoms to be experienced; and there is no need to worry since we know that the basis of this organic instability is love.

4- Obstacles unite the relationship more

If we are lucky enough to be reciprocated and we have started a relationship with that special person, the fact that we overcome some obstacle or barrier to be together will strengthen your ties even more.

This happens because trying to overcome a problem together intensifies the attraction we feel for the other. As in previous symptoms, the one responsible for this fact is dopamine.

The researchers who were part of the Fisher study attribute the relationship between the tightening of ties and dopamine to the fact that when a certain reward (in this case it would be to be able to enjoy a relationship with the loved one) does not arrive momentarily, the neurons that are responsible for the production of dopamine become more productive, so the level of dopamine that is generated is higher.

5- Falling in love borders on obsession

It is estimated that people who are in love spend on average more than 85% of the hours of the day thinking about the person they love. And the funny thing is that they do not think about it consciously, but the brain itself develops intrusive thoughts, which appear suddenly and without being evoked.

Intrusive thoughts are part of the basis of a certain obsession. It is something like not being able to get a certain idea or image out of your head even if you want to. It can be comparable to how when a song “hits” us and we sing it countless times without realizing it.

The biological reason for the obsession in falling in love seems to be related to a decrease in the level of serotonin in the brain. In fact, people diagnosed with obsessive compulsive disorder, organically suffer the same decrease in serotonin and also have intrusive thoughts during the day.

6- During falling in love we only want to be with that person

One of the signs that can appear during the phase of falling in love is not wanting to separate for a moment from the person you love. All that activity that is carried out is the desire to do it together.

This implies something that can become harmful, since it can mean the beginning of an emotional dependency; which is never healthy.

In addition, emotional dependence can also include possession, jealousy, fear of being rejected, and separation anxiety.

Although the desire to be together all the time implies a natural signal in the phase of falling in love, it is good to try to control it a little and continue doing activities that you like and individually.

7- He fantasizes about future plans together

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When in love, the relationship, as well as the state of being in love, is expected to last a lifetime. Everything is so idealized and so beautiful that it is normal to feel that you want the feeling to be eternal.

It is logical to think that what makes us feel good, we want to always have it close.

In addition, the fact of wanting to build a future together is linked to wanting to grow also at the individual level but with that person.

8- The person in love feels that he could do anything for the other

When we fall in love, our ability to understand what the other feels increases so that we can come to feel that both joy, sadness, or any other feeling and / or state as if they were our own.

This means that our capacity to be empathetic increases, and by feeling what the other feels and understanding their emotions, we feel that we would do anything to see the person with whom we are in love well.

9- We change things about ourselves to like that person more

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Yes, as you read it. We put ourselves aside a bit, to modify ourselves and thus get closer to the ideal that we believe our partner seeks.

The things that can be modified can range from the priorities that are had in the day to day, to changing the way of dressing and even making gestures that were not done before.

The vocabulary that we use, as well as the values ​​that were previously had, are also elements of which we are composed that can be modified by the simple fact of wanting to captivate the person we like more.

The tendency can be marked towards the ideal posed by the person with whom we fall in love, or towards trying to resemble her more in terms of tastes and way of being.

10- Falling in love is experienced as an implication of exclusivity

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Typically falling in love is coupled with possessiveness. It is based on the idea and the desire that the person we are in love with is only with us.

The implication of possession over the other and the desire for exclusivity during the infatuation stage assures us as a species to continue surviving, since the organism and its impulses are regulated in such a way that the courtship with the partner is not interrupted until it occurs. the conception.

11- The union goes beyond sexuality

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When people fall in love, the emotional bond is more important than the sexual one. Although there is sexual attraction and an increase in libido when being with that person or thinking about them, not only do they seek to have sexual relations, but they also have the desire and the need to maintain a receptive emotional bond with the chosen person.

In Fisher's study it was found that 64% of people did not agree with the idea that sex is the most important thing in couple relationships.

It is important to bear in mind that the stage of falling in love does not last forever in the couple, and that it is part of one of the stages that occur in a romantic relationship.

But even when the previous signs disappear in a certain relationship, other different phases follow, in which love for the partner continues although in a less intense way.

The initial phase of couple relationships is accompanied by an intensity that is impossible for the body to maintain over time. Therefore, not feeling the 11 symptoms mentioned above over the years does not mean that there is no love between the couple, but that the infatuation phase in its initial state has ended.