I leave you the best phrases of The Simpsons and its characters Homer (Homer in Latin America), Bart, Lisa, Marge, Moe, Skinner, Otto, Martin, Mr. Burns and many more.
You may also be interested in these humorous quotes.
Source: www.flickr.com/photos/bagogames/15213207635
-Lisa, you have the intellect and talent to go as far as you set your mind to, and when you do, I'll be here to borrow money from you. –Bart.
-When will I learn? The answers to life's problems are not at the bottom of a bottle, they are on television! -Homer.
As for environmental news, scientists have announced that Springfield's air is only dangerous for children and the old. –Kent Brockman.
-Do not you like your work? You don't complain. You go every day and you do it halfway. This is how we Americans do it. -Homer.
-That's! You've gotten in my way long enough. I'm going to clown school! -Homer.
-My name is Moe or as girls like to say to me, "Hey you, the one behind the bushes." -Moe.
-Why can't people enforce the law with their own hands? That is to say, we cannot go around guarding the entire city. - Chief Wiggum.
-Going out on Tuesdays? Who do you think I am, Charlie Sheen? –Marge.
-Any man who envies our family is a man who needs help. -Lisa.
-The books are useless. Only once did I read a book: To Kill a Nightingale, and it didn't give me any knowledge of how to kill nightingales. -Homer.
-English? Who needs that? I will never go to England. -Homer.
"Well, I'm not calling you a liar, but I can't think of another way I could end that sentence." –Bart.
-Nothing you tell us can bother us. We are the MTV generation. –Bart.
-Shopping is a victimless crime, just like hitting someone in the dark. -Nelson.
-Isn't it wonderful to hate the same things? –Skinner.
-Well, it's 1 in the morning. I'd better go home to spend some time with the kids. -Homer.
-Sorry mother, the crowd has spoken. –Bart.
-Don't make me run. I am full of chocolate. –Üter Zorker.
-Oh, wow, windows. I don't think I can afford this place. –Otto Man.
-Oh, what a beautiful desk. It would be a shame if someone didn't use the cup holder. -Homer.
-Is this how you imagined your life Edna? –Skinner.
-Okay, yes. But when I was a very depressed child. –Edna Krabappel.
-Loneliness and hamburgers are a dangerous combination. –Jeff Albertson.
-This is the biggest misleading publicity case since I sued the movie The Endless Story. –Lionel Huta.
-Ralph, Jesus didn't have wheels. –Miss. Albright.
"Could it be that we can't have a meeting that doesn't end with us digging up a corpse?" –Joe Quimby.
-If you need me, I'll be in the refrigerator. -Homer.
-Generally I'm not that kind of man who prays, but if you're up there, please save me Superman. -Homer.
-Whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It has the answer to all the important questions. -Grandfather Simpson (Abraham).
-There lies my last dying piece of heterosexuality. –Patty Bouvier.
-Every time I learn something new, it pushes something old out of my brain. Remember when I took that wine making course and forgot how to drive? -Homer.
-Why are they avoiding me? Does my withered face remind you of the grim specter of death? -Grandfather Simpson (Abraham).
"Let that be a lesson for you, dear." Never love anything. -Homer.
-Homer, get relief! You're making happy hour bitterly ironic. -Moe.
-How curious! Looks like that Cadillac crashed into that building. –Marge.
-Help! "Owner of the Cadillac."
Life is about one devastating defeat after another, until you simply wish Flanders was dead. -Homer.
-Oh, I like it better when they're making fun of people when I'm not me. -Homer.
-Are you thinking the same as me? –Marge.
-Yes, you have to push her down the stairs. -Homer.
- I have said it before, and I will continue saying it: the democracy simply does not work. –Kent Brockman.
-Dear Mr. President, there are already many states. Please eliminate three. PS: I'm not a nut. -Grandfather Simpson (Abraham).
-For once in my life, maybe someone will tell me "sir", without adding, "you're making a scene." -Homer.
-He's going to have to speak louder, I'm wearing a towel. -Homer.
-You go through life trying to be good to people, you try to resist the temptation to hit them in the face, and all for what? -Moe.
-We started out as Romeo and Juliet, but it ended in a tragedy. –Milhouse.
-Oh, so they have internet on the computers already (surfing the internet). -Homer.
-It is difficult to handle a pregnant wife and a problem child, but somehow I manage to watch eight hours of television a day. -Homer.
-Oh, wow. I have wasted my life.-Otto Man.
-Me, fail Spanish? That is "impossible". –Ralph Wiggum.
-If you pray to the wrong God, you could make the right one get more and more angry. -Homer.
-What was I laughing at? Ah yes, of that crippled Irish man. -Homer.
-I can't promise I'll treat it. But I will try to treat it. –Bart.
-I don't like being outside, Smithers. One of the reasons is because there are too many obese children. -Mr. Burns.
-Marriage is like a coffin, and each child is like another nail in it. -Homer.
-I have a funny story for that. Well, it's not as fun as it is long. -Grandfather Simpson (Abraham).
-No Homer, you will kill us all. –Marge.
-Or I'll die trying. -Homer.
-Dad, do you hear me? -Lisa
-Lisa, the dog is barking. -Homer.
-There is only one fat man who brings you gifts, and his name is not Santa. –Bart.
-We welcome our new insect supreme rulers. –Kent Brockman.
-Yes. Call this a generalization if you like, but older people aren't good at anything. -Moe.
-The most rewarding part was when he gave me my money. –Dr. Nick.
-Oh, be creative. Instead of making sandwiches with bread, use pop-tarts. Instead of chewing gum, chew on bacon. –Dr. Nick.
-Do you know that it really exasperates me? They are immigrants. They want all the benefits of living in Springfield, but they don't even bother to learn the language - Moe.
-Children can be very cruel. –Marge.
-We can? Thanks Mom. –Bart.
-Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. I danced with a homosexual. -Homer.
"I didn't think this was physically possible, but this both sucks and sucks." –Bart.
-Look. Just give me some inner peace or I'll mop the floor with you! -Homer.
-The reason we elect our politicians is so that we don't have to think all the time. -Homer.
-Dad, what is the point of this story? –Bart.
-I like stories. -Homer.
-I always thought my wife was my soulmate, but if she's not Marge, who is she? Where do I start looking? -Homer.
-That goes beyond my training as a furniture salesman. -Seller.
-Listen to your mother children. Breathe so low that no one will care if you succeed. -Homer.
-Marge, this ticket doesn't just give me a seat, it gives me the right, no, the duty !, to be a complete pain in the ass. -Homer.
-It's a boy. And what a child! -Homer.
-That's the umbilical cord. It's a girl. –Julius Hibbert.
-My cat's breath smells like cat food. –Ralph Wiggum.
-I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. -Homer.
-Hi Simpson. I'm taking the bus today because my mom hid my keys to punish me for talking to a woman on the phone. She was right to do so. –Skinner.
-There's only one thing left to do at a time like this: show off! –Bart.
-Oh! Sweet liquor that relieves pain. –Troy McClure.
-I have three children and no money. Why do I rather not have children and a lot of money? -Homer.
-In theory, communism works. In theory. -Homer.
-Ah, there is nothing more exciting than science. It's fun to sit quietly, write numbers, and pay attention. Science has it all. –Skinner.
-You know Homer, it's very easy to criticize. –Marge.
-And great fun too. -Homer.
-Oh my God! The dead have risen and are going to vote for the Republicans. –Bart.
"You're turning me into a criminal, when all I want is to become a petty thug." –Bart.
-Oh! So Mother Nature needs help? She must have thought that when she was ravaging us with her droughts and floods. Nature started the battle for survival and now she wants to quit because she is losing. Now I tell him, no way. -Grandfather Simpson (Abraham).
-It takes two people to lie. One who lies and one who listens. -Homer.
-Because of the alcohol! The cause, and solution, of all life's problems. -Homer.
–You don't meet new friends eating salad. -Homer, Bart and Marge.
-I'm better than trash. Well, most of the garbage. I mean, no more than that fancy junk they sell in stores. That is packed with nutrients. I can't compete with those things. -Moe.
-I hope you've learned your lesson, Lisa. Never help anyone. -Homer.
-If you don't learn the Roman numerals you will never know when the copyright of the movies was registered. –Edna Krabappel.
-Children, you did the best you could and failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. -Homer.
-Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They are about to announce the lottery numbers. -Homer.
-When I see people, I don't see colors. I only see wacky religions. - Chief Clarence.
-In this house, we obey the laws of thermodynamics! -Homer.
-Homer, was that how you imagined your married life? –Marge.
-Yes, something like that, except we were driving a truck from one place to another solving mysteries. -Homer.
-God, everyone is stupid except for me. -Homer.
-Family, religion and friendship. These are three demons to kill if you want to be successful in business. -Mr. Burns.
-If he really consumed the puffer fish toxin, and from what the chef told me it is highly probable, he only has 24 hours to live. Well, more like 22, sorry I kept you waiting. –Julius Hibbert.
-Making teens depressed is like shooting fish in a barrel. –Bart.
"I hope you understand that I am too tense to pretend that I like you." –Marge.
"Ironic, isn't it, Smithers?" This anonymous clan of slackmouth troglodytes has cost me my choice. However, if I had to kill them, it would be me who would go to jail. That is democracy for you. -Mr. Burns.
-When I held that weapon in my hand, I felt a whirlwind of power. This is how God must feel when he's holding a gun. -Homer.
-Are you hyperventilating? –Allison Taylor.
-No, I just like to smell my lunch. -Lisa.
-People can make up statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that. -Homer.
-Things are not as happy as they used to be here at the unemployment office. The lack of work is not only limited to philosophy majors. Helpful people are starting to resent it. –Kent Brockman.
-Well, it doesn't matter how you live or what you did wrong. As long as you're on television, people are going to respect you. –Bart.
-Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand. -Homer.
-What's the point of getting out? We will end up coming back anyway. –Marge.
- The cause of death of my parents? They got in my way. -Mr. Burns.
-Hey Otto, I have a test today and I'm not ready! Could you crash the bus or something? - Bart.
"There is something worse than being a loser, is being one of those guys who sits in a bar, telling the story of how he became a loser and I don't want that to happen to me." Homer.
-Leave me alone Flanders, you've been rubbing me since I got here, your family is better than mine, your beer comes from further away than mine, your children get along well. Your wife's butt is higher than mine, you make me sick! - Homer.
-What makes a man endanger his job and even his life, asking me for money? - Mr. Burns.
-I'm not a bad person. I work hard and love my children. So why should I spend half of my Sunday listening about how I'm going to hell? - Homer.
-Listen to me, annoying bum, when I catch you, you're dead. He swore I'll cut your heart in half! - Moe (To Bart).
-Well, if you paid more attention, you would notice that your family sees you as a severe authority figure, an ogre if you will. - Dr. Monroe (To Homer).
-Okay, they want to kill themselves. That's good, it's healthy. - Dr. Monroe (to The Simpsons).
-Ladies and gentlemen, contrary to what you have just seen, war is not glamorous or fun. There are no winners, only losers. There are no good wars, with the following exceptions: the American Revolution, World War II, and the Star Wars trilogy.– Bart.
-It seems that the Last Giant is a little out of your budget Mr. Simpson and I'm being nice, you couldn't buy this thing even because it lived a million years.- Bob (when Homer wants to buy a caravan).
-Did you know that the sound of a siren is good? No, Mr. Simpson, she's a bad mermaid. It's the computer telling me in case I'm blind: 'Sell this vehicle to this guy and you're out of a job.' - Bob.
-As you like, many people have senseless attachments to heavy and clumsy things like this Homer of yours.– Jacques (to Marge).
-Oh no! 120 kilos! I'm a whale, why do all good things taste so good? From now on! To work out every morning Homer– Homer.
"Mr. and Mrs. Simpson, we have crossed over the incorrigible with Bart." I don't think an expulsion or suspension will fix it. I think the situation deserves deportation.– Director Skinner.
-As a natural enemy. I don't know why I should care, but the information about colonial North America that you received is wrong. A chimpanzee with a blindfold and a pencil in its mouth has a better chance of passing than you.– Martin (to Bart).
-Souls, pathetic idiots employees, they steal my precious money. This doesn't make sense, none of those cretins deserve a promotion. I'll give it to the dog. - Mr. Burns.
-Simpson huh? Hmm. A piece of clay that I can mold in my image and likeness. He'll be our new executive, bring him to me! ”“ Mr. Burns.
"Now, Mr. Simpson, a little death anxiety is normal." You will go through all five stages, the first is denial.– Dr. Hibbert.
-His life was had unbridled successes until he realized he was a Simpson.– Lisa.
-OMG! Children, you wouldn't put me in a nursing home like I did my father, would you? ”- Homer.
-Attention to all workers, we have finished our evaluation of the plant. We regret to announce the following layoffs that will be read in alphabetical order: Homer Simpson, that's it. - Horst.
"I used to hate the smell of your feet Moe, now it's the smell of victory." Homer.
-Okay young man, go to your room! There will be no Bible stories for you tonight! - Ned Flanders.
-Silly stuff! Dogs are idiots, think about it, Smithers: If I went to your house and started sniffing on your crotch and licked your face, what would you say? ”“ Mr. Burns.
-Aw, come on dad, this may be the miracle that saves the Simpsons Christmas. If TV has taught me anything, it is that miracles can happen to poor children at Christmas. It happened to little Tim, it happened to Charlie Brown, it happened to the Smurfs and it happened to us too! - Bart.
-Your ideas disturb me and that is why I seriously want to subscribe to your newsletter.-Homer.
-In life two lies are required, one that serves to lie and another that works to listen.-Homer.
-I have made every fragment that the Bible says, including everything that contradicts the other things.-Flanders.
"New York is a hellish place, and you know how I feel when it comes to hellholes!"
-Mom, I want you to know that romance is dead. The romance was recently sold in a business to Disney, there they were in charge of normalizing it and selling it piece by piece.-Lisa.
-You know Marge? Bart is going to like my birthday present very much, it won't be like the ornaments I gave him last year or the tapestry I gave him at Christmas. I'm definitely going to earn his love! -Homer.
-Stop for a second Marge! Do you really intend to use your baby as a tool to spy on your husband? -Homer.
-My thoughts have been opened in many ways. Did you know that all the presidents the United States has ever had have been white and straight? And that history is written by the winners? -Marge.
-Try to check my notebook and try to turn Sophia Lorens into Lindsay Lohan.-Krusty the clown.
-Try saying your prayers Bart… Because I see that in school they are not good enough to teach you as they should! -Flanders.
-Oh, a party with the neighbors… At least I can drink! -Homer.
-Our social life will consist of watching television and you go to the bar with Moe.-Marge.
-No one gets so excited about vegetable juice! Not a bit! Hmmm, there is something strange about that girl and I am going to follow her until I find out.-Bart
"Oh God, oh God, I'm becoming the understanding father!"
-1100 dollars? I can't afford that! But definitely that chair would help me get up better than now.-Homer.
"Why do I have this strange feeling that I am going to be explaining this to a psychiatrist later?"
-It's really nice to be with someone who can't understand the horrible things I say.-Moe.
-When you have the honor of meeting Jesus, be sure to call him “Mr. Christ”.- Flanders.
-All these years that I have wanted to be an adult, it has been exploited in my face wildly.-Lisa.
-Madam, do not be offended but with everything you do not know, a warehouse could be completely filled.-Bart.
-There are things that we do not want to know and those things are really important.-Flanders.
"Stupid bus that is unable to go to the stupid place where it's supposed to become stupid!"
-Bart, now that you are a little older I have to tell you something important: no matter how good you can be at something, around you there are always a million people who can do better than you.-Homer.
-The only thing I have pending to do is become the biggest drunk that this city can have.-Bart.
-Bart, this is all we can afford right now. If this does not work, remember that when you are older you can pay a young lady to make you happy for an hour.-Marge.